Mom jokes
Your mom's so fat, she doesn’t need internet, she’s already world wide.
Your mom is so old that her birth certificate says "expired."
What are three things the Twin Towers have in common with my dad? They are big, sexy, and smashed your mom.
Me: Mom, can I have some makeup?
Mom: No. You are beautiful just the way you are.
Me: So that’s why you wear makeup?
Your mom and dad are never coming back because dad is cumming for another kid.
Why do orphans hate Cocomelon?
Because his mom and dad are in every episode!
When your grades get mailed to your house when you expect to get them in school.
When you get home, your mom is there with the belt, going 1k miles per hour.
My mom told me to be positive...
I was heading to an HIV test.
I asked my mom what her biggest regret was for a project at school, and she said, "Oh, go look in the bathroom above the sink..." There was a mirror.
Mom: Let's have an adoption party!
Kid: *cries*
Mom: What's wrong?
Kid: I'M ADOPTED????
How come orphans know how to do laundry?
Cause that's usually the mom's job.
What is an orphan's favorite toy? A mom and dad action figure.
"If you yeet one thing that has been yoted, the yeet gods will help you" - Chris Tyson, MrBeast's friend, and your mom >:)
Some kid online: I f*cked your mom.
Me, an orphan: Jokes on you, I don’t have one!
Your mom is so overweight that she broke the stairway to heaven.
Family all eating at the table.
Brother: "Hmm, I think I feel gold."
Sister: "Stop the cap."
Brother looks under the table and says, "Nope, just a gold digger."
Dad laughed.
Stepmom storms out of the room.
One day I asked my mom where kids came from. She said the man who went to the milk store.
Five years later, he came back and left again.
What's the difference between your mom and a troll?
Nothing, they both look the same.
Me: Mom, stop, you are not funny. You never make jokes.
Mom: I made you.
Me: *watching TV*
Mom: Omg, no way, your dad is coming!
Me: Really?
Mom: Obviously not, he never loved or wanted you.