Mom jokes
Ur mom. (Idk, I'm bored.)
Me: Mom, can I have some makeup?
Mom: No. You are beautiful just the way you are.
Me: So that’s why you wear makeup?
Your mom and dad are never coming back because dad is cumming for another kid.
Some kid online: I f*cked your mom.
Me, an orphan: Jokes on you, I don’t have one!
Why do orphans hate Cocomelon?
Because his mom and dad are in every episode!
How come orphans know how to do laundry?
Cause that's usually the mom's job.
Me: *watching TV*
Mom: Omg, no way, your dad is coming!
Me: Really?
Mom: Obviously not, he never loved or wanted you.
I was digging and found some gold. I was going to tell my mom, then I remembered why I was digging.
What's the difference between your mom and a troll?
Nothing, they both look the same.
Me: Mom, stop, you are not funny. You never make jokes.
Mom: I made you.
Family all eating at the table.
Brother: "Hmm, I think I feel gold."
Sister: "Stop the cap."
Brother looks under the table and says, "Nope, just a gold digger."
Dad laughed.
Stepmom storms out of the room.
Bf: Babe, do you love me?
Gf: Of course, why do you ask?
Bf: I heard that your mom passed away, and I went to pick some roses for you to try to cheer you up, and then I remembered why I went to the garden.
Son: Mom, can I tell you something?
Mom: Yes, of course, honey, what's up?
Son: Ok, you have terrible jokes! They're not even funny!
Mom: Well, I made you.
Your mom: Your plate is full, that's enough food on your plate.
Me: My plate is not full, I still see the white of the plate.
My mom told me to unplug all the electronics, so I unplugged my grandma's life support.
A girl with no arms and one leg goes to her mother and asks: "Mom, next year for the carnival, can I dress up as a princess?"
The mother replies: "Why? Didn't you like the ice lolly dress from last year?"
One day I asked my mom where kids came from. She said the man who went to the milk store.
Five years later, he came back and left again.
What do you think of your mom? I have to go now and tyyyytt.
Mom: I'm going to the shop. If someone is at the door, don't open it.
Me: Ok.
*Ring*
Me: Opens the door.
Oh sh*t!
Mom: Gets flip flop.
What did your mom say last night? "Go harder!"