Mom jokes
Why do orphans cry alone?
They do not have a mom's lap to sit on and a shoulder to cry on.
Your mom.
Orphan: Can I go outside?
Coworker at orphanage: Go ask your mom.
Orphan: WAWAWAWAWAW
When your mom tells you there's a present in the laundry room,
The present: Laundry.
*gunshot*
Knock, knock.
You suck my iron with you and mommy.
A proud father has six children. He always calls his wife "mother of six" to her displeasure.
One night at a party, he yells across the room, "Mom of six, we're going now." She replies: "I'll be right there, father of four."
Yo mom's so old, she went into the museum and walked out with a raise.
You know what’s traumatizing?
Your mom breastfeeding in front of you.
Help!
Mom, where are we going?
To your grandma's funeral.
Yeah, 'cause I 360 no-scoped that b*tch in the face.
Jacob likes fucking me and my mom.
Your mom is so fat that when she saw Moby Dick, she said, "We are family... even though you're bigger than me."
Ur mom was so fat that even Jon Brower Minnoch was ten times less fat.
Yesterday my mom forgot to go grocery shopping, and I was starving, so I kept opening the fridge about 100 times, but nothing new was in there.
Your mom's so fat, when she stands on the scale, it says, "To be continued..."
Dad: I heard an actor killed themselves with a knife. It was Reese something.
Mom: Witherspoon.
Dad: No, with a knife, you dummy!
You have to be a good mom to be a MILF.
Me when the your, uh, uhhhh, when your me when the your, uhhh, uhhhhh, mom.
Your mom is so fat that she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.
Your mom is so fat, that burger.
If mom saw you, she would die and be happy because of you being ugly.