Mom jokes

Jacob likes fucking me and my mom.

Your mom is so fat that when she saw Moby Dick, she said, "We are family... even though you're bigger than me."

Your mom is so old that her birth certificate says "expired."

Me: Mom, stop, you are not funny. You never make jokes.

Mom: I made you.

I was digging and found some gold. I was going to tell my mom, then I remembered why I was digging.

Family all eating at the table.

Brother: "Hmm, I think I feel gold."

Sister: "Stop the cap."

Brother looks under the table and says, "Nope, just a gold digger."

Dad laughed.

Stepmom storms out of the room.

What's the difference between your mom and a troll?

Nothing, they both look the same.

A girl with no arms and one leg goes to her mother and asks: "Mom, next year for the carnival, can I dress up as a princess?"

The mother replies: "Why? Didn't you like the ice lolly dress from last year?"

When you tell your mom that she is bad at jokes, then she tells you, "Well, I made you!"

Ur mom. (Idk, I'm bored.)

Son: Mom, can I tell you something?

Mom: Yes, of course, honey, what's up?

Son: Ok, you have terrible jokes! They're not even funny!

Mom: Well, I made you.

Bf: Babe, do you love me?

Gf: Of course, why do you ask?

Bf: I heard that your mom passed away, and I went to pick some roses for you to try to cheer you up, and then I remembered why I went to the garden.

My mom told me to unplug all the electronics, so I unplugged my grandma's life support.

One day I asked my mom where kids came from. She said the man who went to the milk store.

Five years later, he came back and left again.

Mom: I'm going to the shop. If someone is at the door, don't open it.

Me: Ok.

*Ring*

Me: Opens the door.

Oh sh*t!

Mom: Gets flip flop.

What is an orphan's favorite toy? A mom and dad action figure.

Your mom: Your plate is full, that's enough food on your plate.

Me: My plate is not full, I still see the white of the plate.

Is their [there] a doctor anywhere?

My mom has a few problems & those problems is [are] that my mom has big tits, fat ass & sweet pussy that needs attention. Help anyone.

What made Adam and Eve's marriage perfect?

He didn't have to hear about all the men she could have married, and she didn't have to hear about his Mom's cooking.

What's the difference between three cocks and a joke?

Your mom can't take a joke.