Mom jokes

Your mom is so stupid that she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.

Why do orphans cry alone?

They do not have a mom's lap to sit on and a shoulder to cry on.

Me: Yo, dude! Yo mama so fat when she walked by the TV, I missed three episodes!

My friend's mom: Why you bully me?

I wasn't going to visit my family this December, but my mom promised to make me Eggs Benedict. So I'm going home for the hollandaise.

The emo kid's mom went to jail because the kid was hung.

Your forehead is so big that your mom stayed in the delivery room just to give birth to your head.

Knock, knock.

You suck my iron with you and mommy.

Your mom is so fat that when she went to the dentist, the man said, "One at a time."

Me: *watching TV*

Mom: Omg, no way, your dad is coming!

Me: Really?

Mom: Obviously not, he never loved or wanted you.

Where's your mom?

In the bin.

We thought that my mother died in the best way possible, during her sleep.

But when we did an autopsy on her, we saw she actually died in the worst way possible. During the autopsy.

Ur mom. (Idk, I'm bored.)

When you tell your mom that she is bad at jokes, then she tells you, "Well, I made you!"

What's the difference between your mom and a troll?

Nothing, they both look the same.

Me: Mom, stop, you are not funny. You never make jokes.

Mom: I made you.

My mom told me to unplug all the electronics, so I unplugged my grandma's life support.

A girl with no arms and one leg goes to her mother and asks: "Mom, next year for the carnival, can I dress up as a princess?"

The mother replies: "Why? Didn't you like the ice lolly dress from last year?"

Family all eating at the table.

Brother: "Hmm, I think I feel gold."

Sister: "Stop the cap."

Brother looks under the table and says, "Nope, just a gold digger."

Dad laughed.

Stepmom storms out of the room.

Bf: Babe, do you love me?

Gf: Of course, why do you ask?

Bf: I heard that your mom passed away, and I went to pick some roses for you to try to cheer you up, and then I remembered why I went to the garden.

Son: Mom, can I tell you something?

Mom: Yes, of course, honey, what's up?

Son: Ok, you have terrible jokes! They're not even funny!

Mom: Well, I made you.