Mom jokes

A young orphan boy goes to school for the first time. A bigger boy comes and punches him. He says, "What are you gonna do, cry to your mommy?" The boy cries.

Next morning, he wakes up and comes to school. The same thing happens, but the older boy brings his friends. This time, after he says, "You gonna tell your mom?", the little boy says, "Yes, I will tell them that there is company coming over."

Your mom's so poor, she chased the garbage truck with her grocery list.

Yo mom's so old, she went into the museum and walked out with a raise.

You know what’s traumatizing?

Your mom breastfeeding in front of you.

Help!

Your mom is so fat that the photographer had to go to the moon just to click the photo of her belly button.

One day my kid with no arms came up to me and said, "Mom, what's dark humor?" I thought about it, then said, "Go wave to that blind person." He just looked at me, confused, but angry.

I'll call your mom a cow, but which one?

A proud father has six children. He always calls his wife "mother of six" to her displeasure.

One night at a party, he yells across the room, "Mom of six, we're going now." She replies: "I'll be right there, father of four."

BlessedBrian’s mom’s birth certificate is a COLLECTOR’S ITEM.

Mom, where are we going?

To your grandma's funeral.

Yeah, 'cause I 360 no-scoped that b*tch in the face.

Me: Yo, dude! Yo mama so fat when she walked by the TV, I missed three episodes!

My friend's mom: Why you bully me?

Your mom is so fat that when she went to the dentist, the man said, "One at a time."

Your mom is so stupid that she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.

Why do orphans cry alone?

They do not have a mom's lap to sit on and a shoulder to cry on.

The emo kid's mom went to jail because the kid was hung.

Your forehead is so big that your mom stayed in the delivery room just to give birth to your head.

Knock, knock.

You suck my iron with you and mommy.

I wasn't going to visit my family this December, but my mom promised to make me Eggs Benedict. So I'm going home for the hollandaise.

I was digging and found some gold. I was going to tell my mom, then I remembered why I was digging.

Ur mom. (Idk, I'm bored.)