Mom jokes
How did Helen Keller's mom punish her? She put her in a circular room and told her to find the corner.
Danny just bought a new game from Steam for a penny.
About one hour later, Danny asks his mother: "Mom, I am not able to start the game."
Mom asked, "Why?"
Danny answers: "It says 'Press any key' on the screen, but I can't find an 'Any' button on my keyboard."
Mom! Mom! My classmates called me an orphan!
I forgot to tell Alicia I saw her mom a couple days ago.
In a porn video!
There was a kid in my class who said my face looked like a physical reaction (we were learning about that stuff at the time), so I said I made a chemical reaction with his mom last night.
When you're at your friend's house and her mom starts yelling at you
Yo mama jokes are so old, like your mom.
Luca’s Mom and Dad be throwing the kids into the fountain in the city, but they're sea monsters, so if they went to jail for that, they would be on death row anyway. 🤣
One day a mom who looked like a pig broke the car down.
There was once a small earthquake, but when I got outside, I realized my brother was still stuck inside. When I told my mom, she just said, "It doesn't matter, you're my favorite anyway!"
Little Johnny says: “Mom, you know that lovely vase in the dining room that’s been handed down from generation to generation?”
Mom replies: “Yes. What about it?”
He says: “Well, the last generation just dropped it.”
POV: An Asian kidnapper kidnapped an Asian kid, and the kidnapper called the kid's mom. Then the mom said, "No, it's fine, my kid got a B, he failed." And the kidnapper let him go saying he doesn't need a failure.
Why can’t the orphan tell on people?
Because they got no mom and dad! LOLLL
Mom: You can't die in the living room, David, so you can stop stabbing and shooting yourself.
David: I will surpass Kakarot!
Jordan: *dead on the living room floor*
Your mom is so dumb that somebody told her, "Go get a life," so she went to play Super Mario and got a 1-up.
Me: Mom, if Adam and Eve are white, then how were slaves made?
Mom: Well, Eve and the monkey fucked each other.
Me: Oh, okay.
Goes to school.
Teacher: How were humans made?
Me: Eve fucked the monkeys.
Teacher: 😑
Why was your mom so into me?
'Cause she was the man.
Your mom is so fat, she played bowling with the planets.
What is the difference between me and the Twin Towers?
My mom was only airplane feeding me a spoon.
Your mom's so fat, she annexed Crimea!
Your mom's so fat, when she entered a fat contest, they said, "Sorry, no professionals!"