Mom Jokes

I am Funny but sad. I submit jokes you'll love. Anyway...

Little Jimmy asked his mom if he could take a bath with her since he was scared if being alone. She said, "Sure, just don't look up." He looked up and said, "Woah, what are those?" She replied, "Those are just headlights." He looked down and said, "What is that?" She said, "That's just a bush." The next day, mommy wasn't home so he asked to take a shower with his papa instead. He said, "Okay, but don't look up." He looked up and said, "Woah, what is that?" His papa replied, "That's just a snake." Later that night, he asked to sleep with his parents. They said, "Okay, just don't look under the covers." After a while, he grew bored and went under the covers. Jimmy screamed, "Mom, turn on the headlights, the snake is in the bush!"

My mom ask stop making joke about suicide I answer- don’t worry ...I stop soon

So i asked my mom for a bath bomb she just gave me a toaster

guy spills milk on a me i say " it's OK we all make mistakes sometimes but apparently your mom made a big one

A mom gave her son "the talk". her son replies "wait so there really isn't candy involved? Guess Grandpa lied.

*My mom trying to get me to do dishes*

Mom: I gave you life and you should be able to wash dishes.

Me: Why did you?

Mom: I was very drunk...

Explains a lot...

Why is it so easy bullying orphans They can’t tell their mom

Roses are red, violets are blue. Your mom isn't here because she doesn't love you.

me. mom would you get mad at me for something i didn't do. mom. no. me ok good i didn't do my homework

A boy breaks a vase and his mom says its ok honey mistakes happen how do you think you were born

Me: I kiss my mom on the lips Friend: Uh, I guess that's somewhat nor- Me: Lower lips Friend: I gotta go

Daughter: Mommy?

Mom: Hey

Daughter: What kind of kids do they use to make sour patch kids?

Mom: They don’t use kids to make sour patch kids

Daughter: Oh that’s why the ones I made taste kind of funny...

My mom tells me when I get into an argument with her that she brought me into this world and she can take me out. Some times I wanna tell her that I can do that for her.

I asked my mom where babys come from she said I came from the adoption center.

me: "comment if you love yourself and give me a reason" friends: comments give reason me: "notice how i commented nothing day later mom: let me see your tik tok me: shows her the video mom: calls suicide JK she just beat me for posting a video on her

What do teen mothers and their unborn babies have in common?

They're both thinking "Oh my God, my mom's gonna kill me!"

When your mom tries to hit you with the belt but misses and hits herself... #victoryroyale

A kid is watching tv and sees an ad about adopting an animal,he then turns to his mother and says “do we have to adopt a donkey” “no” replied the mom, “but we decided to do it......we adopted you”.

one day I came to my mom and said "MOM!!! I can make a butterfly!"

mom: "no you can't.."

me: *throws butter out the window* me: "look I made a butterfly!"

lol this isn't funny but I hope you liked it

So I didn't want my mom going through my laptop so I put a touch screen on it where you just have to tap the screen to unlock it jokes on her she doesn't have any fingers.