Mom jokes
Son: Mom, I did the test and I have cancer!
Mom: YOU HAVE CANCER?!
Son: Mom, as my zodiac symbol...
Mom:....
Your hairline goes so far back that even your mom couldn’t see it.
Why didn't the pirate write a letter to his mom?
Are you kidding me?!?
One time I was watching TV.
Mom: Omg, your dad is coming!
Me: Omg, really?
Mom: Sike, I lied.
I called my mom on Alexa, and she told me, "Please take out the trash." I said, "But I can't, you're not here."
My face when my mom said we could go to McDonalds
What's the difference between a hoe and a prostitute?
One is a tool. The other is your mom.
Mom: Clean your room! Me: No, it’s my room, and I don’t want to clean it. Mom: You are nothing like Mrs. Smith’s daughter. Me: Well, I’m not Mrs. Smith’s daughter now, am I? You are the worst. Why are you trying to compare me with Mrs. Smith’s daughter? I’m not her, OK? I am not her, so stop! Mom: Do you know what? I pushed you out of my hula for 43 minutes! Do not make me hate you, because guess what? I brought you into the world, and I can take you out of it! Me: Bro.
Your mom.
What's the difference between a God and my mom?
My mom exists. I mean... she did at one point! Unlike any "Gods."
We are having a sleepover and we are being as quiet as possible.
Addison: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, THOSE ARE GREAT JOKES!!!
Layne: IKR
Mom: SHUT UP, YOUR BROTHER IS TRYING TO SLEEP.
Addison: ok fine.
Layne: Look at this joke.
Addison: HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA
*Addison and Layne continue laughing really loudly*
My mom and dad: KIDS COME DOWNSTAIRS TO EAT! Me: What's for dinner? Mom and Dad: Food.
The next day KIDS COME DOWNSTAIRS FOR FOOD! My brother and sister: What's for dinner? Me: Food ;-;
My friend's mom once told me that when Trump was elected president, she said to my friend: "Hey look, an orange became president. We got an orange as a president before a girl as president."
When my bro says "YOUR MOM" when I'm talking when I'm at school, and my friend says "YOUR MOM," me punches him;-;
Are the three little pigs orphans because their mom kicked them out of the house?
Your mom is so ugly, she made the devil go to church.
What's the best part of not wearing a condom when I'm with my girlfriend? My mom went through menopause.
Your mom is so fat, they asked if she was a sumo wrestler.
When you think your mom's a virgin, then you stumble into the wrong closet.
I got knob cheesed after your sexy mom was on top, dry humping me on the vanilla-coloured living room carpet.
Yo mama so ugly, when she tried to enter an ugly contest, they said they didn't allow professionals.