Mom jokes

Your mom is so fat she won't be in a coffin when she dies. She won't fit in it.

Mom: Kid, bring your toys and clothing to the car. We're going to Disney Land.

Kid: Ok.

*Bring kid to the orphanage*.

What kind of cow has 2 legs?

YOUR MOM!!

My friend's mom died, and he also died in a crash.

My mom: "Dear, I don't know why your grandma is spending more time with her friend Carla, can you spy on her?"

Me: "Your mom gay lol."

My mom: "Don't talk about your grandma like that, you rude girl."

You: "Your mom gay lol."

What is the best part about eating cake? Your mom.

My mom said I rely on my devices too much, so I unplugged her life support.

Fritzchen was supposed to remember three sentences. He asks his mother, "Mom, do you have any news?" The mother replies angrily, "Stop it!"

Fritzchen goes to see his father, who is watching a football match. When a goal is scored, he shouts, "That's it!"

Finally, he asks his sister, "Sister, do you have anything to say?" She is currently reading a story about a fool and says, "He is the dumbest person in the world!"

The next day at school, the teacher asks, "Fritzchen, did you learn the phrases?" Fritzchen replies, "Stop it!" The teacher is shocked: "Fritzchen! Don't say that to me. Go to the principal immediately!" Fritzchen shouts, "That's it!" Arriving at the principal's office, he asks, "Who do you think I am?" Fritzchen promptly replies, "He's the dumbest person in the world!"

My mom tells me and my sister to stop fighting. "Mom! You and Dad need to stop!"

1+1 answer 2 said all the kids, but 1 kid said 5. Then I said your mom feels embarrassed because everyday you look into the mirror, you see how empty your brain is.

Your hairline and your mom go way back.

if an atom makes up everything im still suprised how it made ur mom

Your mom, bro! XD Roasted! Lmfaoooooooooo!

Mom, can I be a firefighter when I grow up?

Mom: Oh, you won't grow up, Caillou.

I said, "Are you half left or half right?"

"Neither! In-between."

"What?! In between your mom's tits when you go to sleep with her at night?"

Muslim child to his mother: "Mom, why is my backpack so heavy?"

Mom: "Allahu Akbar, my son, Allahu Akbar!"

Your mom is so fat Thanos had to snap twice.

Lil Johnny came home one day and said, "What do fucking each other mean?"

Then he walked through the living room and his dad was fucking his mom, so oh.

A proud father has six children. He always calls his wife "mother of six" to her displeasure.

One night at a party, he yells across the room, "Mom of six, we're going now." She replies: "I'll be right there, father of four."

Mom, shut up. Me? I don't shut up, I grow up. When I look at you, I throw up.