Mom jokes

Ur mom.

Oh wait, you don't have one.

When you say, "I wish I could cut off these bumps on my neck." (Your mom walking to you with a knife.)

Your mom's like a candy machine; she pops out for anybody.

What did the mom tell her son when he asked for a bowl of cereal? "Sorry your dad wasn't came back with the milk yet."

I remember my mom's last words before her divorce, "Did you just load in me?"

I punched my mom for no freaking reason.

Your dad is your mom.

My Dad keeps beating me and my mom. Please call the police. My name is Jacob Upchurch.

Mom: Can I tell you a joke?

Kid: Sure.

Mom: Knock knock.

Kid: Who's there?

Mom: Not yo.

Kid: Not yo who?

Mom: Not yo father.

Kid: Not yo husband either.

Kenny: "Tyler, you're lucky you're adopted."

Tyler: "Why?"

Kenny: "Because you can fuck your mom without getting arrested for incest."

Roses are red, violets are blue, people think that you’re fat, until they saw your mom.

Your mom is so fat when you printed the picture, it would not stop printing! 😂🤣

Bro, if you think about it, your mom and God have one thing in common... They're both big.

Mom, why was I adopted?

Because people are terrible, and that’s how the world works, son!

Ok, Dad, the world is TERRIBLE!

P.S. My brother made this up when he had no meds... I almost died.

What does ATM stand for?

Answer: Amy’s Terrible Mom.

😂🤣

Your mom does not need the internet. She's already worldwide.

Ur mom. (Idk, I'm bored.)

Mom

For this orphan, his dad didn't only go and get the milk. His mom did too.

Why did the Titanic sink? Because your mom was on it.