Mom jokes
If someone is mean to an orphan just say, "I will call your mum," and make them cry even more.
I asked, "Mom, what's that in the sky?"
Mom replied with, "That's your father."
Spanish is difficult. When my mom gives me food, she says "toma," and that's drink in English, so I always drink my food.
Ur mom is so fat that when she came to the front door, she was already at the back door.
Karien: Mom, I don't care if you're dating a new guy, I want you and Dad to be together!
Daiana: Sometimes things don't work out, like when it didn't work between your father and me. Time to move on, Karien.
Karien: Well I'm not moving on! I can't believe you love someone else!
Daiana: Karien, just give him a chance. His name is Derek, he loves cooking, cleaning, and anything that has you doing something.
Karien: That is so boring!
Daiana: Well just work with me please?
Karien: I'll give you a day... 24 hours, Mom!
Your mom is so stupid that she thought LGBTQ was a sandwich.
Knock, knock.
Your mom.
LBB- me and Shrek built a theme park for you mummy and it’s called Dummy pee pee poo poo doo doo land because Shrek likes to poop.
Shrek- Should I pull the trap?
*LBB’s mom walks into the trap*
LBB and Shrek- surprise we’re mailing you to Peepoo Peepoo AB
When my mom asks, "If your friend pays you to jump off a bridge, would you do it?" I say, "No, Mom... I'd do it for free!"
When my bro says "YOUR MOM" when I'm talking when I'm at school, and my friend says "YOUR MOM," me punches him;-;
Your mom #69.
My mom told me drugs are my enemies... but Jesus said to love your enemies.
Dad: Honey!
Mom: What?
Dad: All of the broken condoms are on the bed.
Mom: WHAT!?
Children: *staring*
Your mom's so fat, when she entered a fat contest, they said, "Sorry, no professionals!"
Your hairline goes so far back that even your mom couldn’t see it.
I told my mom I'm happy and she said: "I didn't know you were gay."
Want to know what I do in my freetime?
Punch an orphan, cuz what are they going to do, tell their mom?
I called my mom on Alexa, and she told me, "Please take out the trash." I said, "But I can't, you're not here."
My Mom said, "I have a daughter that killed herself for getting bullied."
Well, I said, "Have you seen her?"
Me: I have a dream.
Mom: What?
Me: For you to fucking shut up.