Mom jokes

My mom loves balls.

But my dad has been gone for the last 4 years.

Kidnapper: Hey kid, your mom told me to follow me.

Orphan: But I don't have a mom!

Boy: Will you remember me in a minute?

Mom: Yes.

Boy: Will you remember me in a day?

Mom: Yes.

Boy: Will you remember me in a year?

Mom: Yes.

Boy: Knock knock.

Mom: Who's there?

Boy: Bitch, you forgot me.

Mom: Let's have an adoption party!

Kid: *cries*

Mom: What's wrong?

Kid: I'M ADOPTED????

The little girl's dad was Jewish and her mom was Catholic. Mom had been taking the little girl to church every Sunday.

One Sunday, during High Mass, the little girl whispers to her mom, “Mom, can we go home now?”

“No honey, not yet,” replied the mother, “the Mass is only half over.”

“Then we can go now, Mom. I'm half Jewish.”

One day I was with my mom and we had no money on the credit card, and we live far, and my mom was hungry.

A guy and his friend had a car and asked us if we were lost. We said no, we have no ride, no money, and my mom is hungry. So the guy would take us for a blowjob each, so I was driving the car and my mom gave both guys a blowjob. We had to get out of the car to look for something, then the two guys went in the car and told us we got bad news and good news. I asked what the bad news was. They said that they're not taking us home, so I asked what the good news was. They told me that they fed my mom and drove off. I guess where they left us wasn't a long walk and my mom wasn't hungry anymore.

Why did your emo mom get you?

To have someone to hang out with.

Your mom is so fat, every time she turns around, it's her birthday.

Your mom smells so bad she could stun a horse in a field.

What were the orphan's mom and dad's names? John and Jane Doe.

"Let it go, LET IT GO!" Blah blah blah whatever the rest of the song says dun dun blah blah blah my mom never bothered me anyway.

I'm bored 😴 so that's why I sang in my wonderful voice for a few seconds and wasted your time.

What's the difference between your mom and a fat female cow...

A female cow doesn't have a dick.

Your name is baller cuz ur in my mom's baller.

My mom loved taking pics of me when I was a child. Thanks to that, people really believe my fake smiles! :3

Being a mom to a teenager will make you understand why some animals eat their young.

P.S. My brother made this up when he had no meds... I almost died.

What does ATM stand for?

Answer: Amy’s Terrible Mom.

😂🤣

Why does the emo's mom like taking her son to the store?

Because the cashier can scan his wrist for discounts!

Bully: Your mom hates you.

Orphan: I don't have parents ;)

BULLY vs. QUIET KID

Bully: I bet your dick is as small as a Tic Tac.

Quiet Kid: That's why your mom's breath smells so good.

QUIET KID WINS

A girl with no arms and one leg goes to her mother and asks: "Mom, next year for the carnival, can I dress up as a princess?"

The mother replies: "Why? Didn't you like the ice lolly dress from last year?"