Mom jokes
How do crabs honor their mom’s birthday? The shell-abrate.
Your mom is so stupid, she got lost in Bed Bath & Beyond and slept on the floor.
Your mom is so weak, when she jumped from the Twin Towers, her baby became disabled.
Me: "Cya"
Mom: "Where ya going?"
Me: "The orphanage to make yo mama jokes."
Mum: ...
My step mom walked in naked once. I sky rocketed that day. I was 12.
Your mom is so old, she walked into an antique store and they kept her.
Your mom is so dumb, she called me asking for my phone #.
Your mom is so fat that when God said, "Let there be light," he asked your mom to move out of the way.
My mom gives me your stuff because you have bad grades.
Me: How about my 5 little brothers? I have A's; he has F's.
She lets him play anyway and I don't.
My mom was cooking dinner and asked me if I could get her a cutting board.
"No, I need you to take off your shirt and lay on the island so I can cut some chicken."
You know, the strangest things happen. My mom said, "Step on a crack, you break your mama's back, but if you step on a line, you break your father's spine." I stepped on the line. It didn't break his spine. Mom, who is my father?
I saw a small kid crying, so I asked him, "Where's your mom?" but he started crying, so I left the funeral. 🙂🙂
What is an orphan's favorite toy? A mom and dad action figure.
Your dad is your mom.
Your mom is so dumb that she thought Dunkin' Donuts was a basketball team.
Depression: Here, your mom just died.
Me: My mom is already dead.
When I was 17, my mom’s door was always locked. I wonder what she was doing.
I sold my vacuum the other day.
All I got was dust and my mom's wig.
Why did the cookie cry?
Because its mom was a wafer too long!
My mom said, "Don't jump off, we need you."
I said, "No," then I jumped off a building and died.
Ur mom.
Oh wait, you don't have one.