On my 21st Birthday my mom told me I got a nice birthday present for you. As the son and only child your going to to get something good and something you been looking forward to is what my mom said. Me my mom and my on;y friend celebrate my Birthday then we all went to sleep I woke up the next day I ask hey where my gift you said you got me. My mom said since your father left us you have have no father figure in your life. So this is your new step father the only thing it was my only friend.
why do orphans hate cocomelon because his mom and dad are in every episode
Your mom is so fat it takes a year to turn around
why cant an orphan play football because they don't have an dad or mom
it was my cousin's birthday and my mom said what should we get her.I said a rope
A teenager brings her new boyfriend home to meet her parents. They’re appalled by his haircut, his tattoos, his piercings.
Later, the girl’s mom says, “Dear, he doesn’t seem to be a very nice boy.”
“Oh, please, Mom!” says the daughter. “If he wasn’t nice, would he be doing 500 hours of community service?”
Mom shut up me I don't shut up I grow up when I look at you I throw up
It was Christmas time for Little Johnny. He was going to make some cookies and milk for Santa until he heard shaking and moaning from his mother's bedroom. He thinks, "Meh, Dad's probably back from the grocery store". But 2 seconds later, he heard a "Ho Ho Ho Oh YEAH" and then a slap. He opens the door. He finds Santa riding on his 19 yr old mom. He asks, "Santa, when did you get here and WHAT are you doing?". Santa replied, "Your mother asked for her 'milk jar' to be filled, and that's what I am doing." Johnny says, "Oh." "But, Mom, you told me Dad was here, well where is he?"
(Santa winks at you)
So yesterday, I was at an orphanage, harassing children by twerking at them,
They burst into tears.
I was worried that they would call their mom,
well.. um.. i got away
I took the trash to the recycling bin and two days later my mom told me asked me where’s your sister and I said in the recycling line to be turned into a bottle
ur mom uses the equator as a belt
your mom was so fat that she couldnt have a man and couldnt go through the door
IM JOKING DONT GET MAD
Son why do i not have an Easter basket. Mom ur 23 u don't need one. Ends calls child support
yor mom
if your an orphan it must be pretty hard taking "your mom" jokes
Why was huggy wuggy not able to hug Cody’s mom. Because she was so fat he couldn’t fit his arms around here.
You know they lying when they say, my moms, picking me up.
I walked up to a group of moms having a conversation while waiting to pick up their kids from day care. They were using cutesy words like 'ankle biters', 'rug rats' and other terms I've heard parents use before when describing their toddlers.
I thought I'd chime in; as it turns out, 'carpet muncher' doesn't mean what I thought it does.
A toddler, was giving her daddy a tea party She brought him a little cup of "tea" which was just water, of course. After several cups of tea , her Mom came home, Dad made her wait in the living room to watch his little Princess bring him a cup of tea, because it was, "Just the cutest thing!" Mom waited, and sure enough, here she come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy. She watches him drink it up and then says, "You know the only place she can reach water, is the toilet!
I fucked your mom, oh wait, you don't have one
