Mom jokes
"If you yeet one thing that has been yoted, the yeet gods will help you" - Chris Tyson, MrBeast's friend, and your mom >:)
Where was your mom last night? In the man club?
So, when I'm about to take a shower, my mom says, "Take a shower." When I'm about to take out the trash, my mom says, "Take out the trash."
My dick's so big, I stuck it in your mom's loose hole.
Why does my brother have no mom?
Your mom is hot.
Your mom is so ugly that even Medusa turned to stone from looking at her!
Your mom is so overweight that she broke the stairway to heaven.
Your mom is so ugly, she made the devil go to church.
Teacher: What is your least favorite holiday?
Orphan: National Forgive Your Mom And Dad Day.
Teacher: Why is that your least favorite?
Orphan: Because I don't have any parents to forgive.
Teacher: *tries to hold back* HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
One day I seen a little boy walking in the grocery store, so I asked if he was okay, and he said yes. I asked where his parents were, and he said his mom died years ago and his dad is stuck in the milk aisle.
"Mom, these balloons are hard to blow."
"Son, stay out of the drawer."
Mom: “Guess where I’m taking you, son!”
Son: “To the playground?”
Mom: “No, to the morgue.”
You're so skinny that your mom had to use a whole shampoo bottle on your head, but she still couldn’t find you.
When you ask your mom for candy but you grab from the wrong drawer...
Daughter: Mommy?
Mom: Hey.
Daughter: What kind of kids do they use to make Sour Patch Kids?
Mom: They don’t use kids to make Sour Patch Kids.
Daughter: Oh, that’s why the ones I made taste kind of funny...
Me: I hit an orphan!
Mom: OMG WHY?
Me: Not like they can tell their parents-
Luca’s Mom and Dad be throwing the kids into the fountain in the city, but they're sea monsters, so if they went to jail for that, they would be on death row anyway. 🤣
I know what you did with your mom last night, the orphan. Nah, jit trippin', you thought I had one?
As a fellow emo, I find these very rude and disrespectful. Please take off, or I'll tell Mom.
Also, if anyone knows any high bridges nearby, please tell me (I'm asking for a friend).
P.S. I have no friends.