Misunderstanding

Misunderstanding jokes

Incest

    • I was in Alabama last year. I walked into a store and noticed a couple kissing each other, and I said, "Excuse me, where is the bathroom?" The man said, "Right over there." I went into the bathroom and then heard the girl say, "Dad, I have to go to school soon."

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    • CPR

    • I was drinking a martini and the waitress screamed, "Does anyone know CPR?" I yelled, "I know the entire alphabet," and we all laughed and laughed. Well, except one person.

  • 1

    • Bug

    • Little Johnny's dad was driving him to school when they came up on a couple in a convertible. It was apparent that they were arguing. You could then see the woman pull out a knife. Seconds later, his dad saw a penis land in the windshield. Worried little Johnny will see it, he quickly turned on the wipers and brushed it off.

    "What was that, Dad?" asked lil Johnny. "Oh, just a bug," said his father. With a confused look on lil Johnny's face, he then says, "That bug sure had a big dick, didn't he?"

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    • Misunderstanding memes

    Butcher

    • *on a date*

    me - "I get to work with animals all day."

    her - "How sweet! What do you do?"

    me - "I'm a butcher."

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    • Priest

    • Father: "The church is on fire! GET OUT! GET OUT!"

    Priest: "Ok, what about the children?"

    Father: "FUCK THE CHILDREN!"

    Priest: "Do you think we'll have time?"

  • 1

    • Patient

    • A suspected Covid-19 male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student female nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.

    "Nurse," he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"

    Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."

    He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?"

    Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers.

    She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other.

    She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine."

    The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly,

    "Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very, very closely:

    "Are - my - test - results - back?"

    Girlfriend

    • My girlfriend just broke up with me because I held a door for another girl. She said I was cheating, but the girl I helped was in a wheelchair.

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    • Fart

    • Gary and Steve are having sex and the phone rings. Steve goes to answer the phone and tells Gary, "Hey, don't finish yourself until I get back." After returning from the other room, there is cum all over the bed and wall of the bedroom. "Jesus, Gary, I said not to finish yourself until I got back!" Gary turns to him and says, "I didn't, I farted."

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    • Mathematician

    • A mathematician stumbles home drunk at 3 a.m., and his wife is livid. "You swore that you'd be home by 11:45!"

    "No," slurs the mathematician, "I said I'd be home by a quarter of 12."

  • 0

    • Stone

    • Teacher makes 1 kid recite the ABCs and the other count to 10.

    Teacher: You can kill 2 birds with 1 stone.

    Little Johnny goes home and throws a rock at two birds. One dies. He gives his dad a concussion from the rock hitting his head.

    Johnny at school: You can kill a bird and give a man a concussion.

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    • Toronto

    • A pair of Newfies decide to visit Toronto. They drive through Nova Scotia, through New Brunswick, through Montréal, Kingston, Oshawa... then they see a sign that says "Toronto Left", so they turn back around and go home.

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    • Uncle

    • When I was a child, my parents told me my uncle was 'sleeping with the fishes.' At first, I thought he bought a water bed, but I then discovered he was killed and buried at sea.

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