Mistake jokes
Yo, barber fucked up so bad he pulled out a "Plants vs. Zombies" map and that shii fit perfectly.
When my son was little, he loved to draw. Although he would always rip up the paper whenever there was one little slip up. Too bad he became a tattoo artist.....
The Twin Towers ordered 3 tacos.
One was just a plane tortilla.
The other one was also just a plane tortilla.
And the third one went to the wrong address.
Quit making plane jokes. They're just plane wrong.
Wanna see a mistake go on camera and take a pic of you?
I accidentally handed my wife a glue stick instead of a chapstick. She still isn't talking to me.
I asked my wife to embrace her mistakes.
She gave me a hug.
I was walking down the street when I saw my ex-girlfriend, so I fucked her. Turns out it was her identical twins that she never told me about.
And I decided to confront her. So I did the next time I saw her, but this time it was her identical triplet. There are 3 of them...
AND SHE NEVER BROUGHT THAT UP IN THE 7 YEARS I WAS DATING HER!
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.
Jack got high and slapped his thigh and said, "You know you wanna."
Jill said yes, picked up her dress and said, "Let's have some fun!"
Silly ole Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.
"I know that everyone is allowed to act stupid once in a while, but you’re really abusing that privilege."
My wife (or husband) told me to get six cans of Sprite from the grocery store.
I had just realized when I got home that I had picked up 7-Up.
what does an orphanage and a hospital have in common?
people go there to fix their mistakes.
Why did the Japanese NOT shoot down the American plane that was dropping atomic bombs?
From what their eyes saw, it was a piece of rice.
Two wrongs don't make a right. Take your parents as an example.
I am never wrong. One time I thought I was wrong, but I was mistaken.
They say mistakes make you stronger. If that were true, then whoever made that nonexistent thing called “women's rights” would have muscles bigger than a white girl.
Mom asks, "Who are you talking to?"
The child said, "A mistake."
Don't turn the toaster sideways, worst mistake of my life.
Michael Jackson died of shock when he found out Boys II Men wasn't a delivery service.
If I missed something, I'll give it to you. If you taked it, you are a mistake.