Miscellaneous jokes
7 little children gathered around the bed Bill Cosby's fantasy.
All he wants to do is tickle the kids, it's as plain as can be.
7 cellmates gathered around the bed ready to rape Bill Cosby instead.
Wife: "How would you describe me?"
Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."
Wife: "What does that mean?"
Husband: "Adorable (A), beautiful (B), cute (C), delightful (D), elegant (E), fashionable (F), gorgeous (G), and hot (H)."
Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"
Husband: "I'm just kidding!"
What is always moving but we never see it walk?
Time! Hahahaha!
What did the fish say when it hit the wall? Dam.
What did the other fish say to that fish when he hit the wall? Dumb Bass.
What's a queen's favorite drink? Royal-tea!
Why are graveyards so noisy?
Because of all the coffin!
ICH BIN GOTT.
Free blacks in the Civil War is the same as me drawing a reverse card in Uno.
Your life.
Want to hear a joke about pizza?
Never mind, it's too cheesy.
A German soldier is walking down the street during a hail storm when a lady suddenly falls over after being hit. He, along with a few others, walk over to her. One man asks, "What happened?" and the soldier replies, "Hail hit her."
What does Donald Trump say when he declares war? Nuke them.
What does a pervert say when he declares war? Nude them.
Why did Jimmy drop his ice cream?
Because he was dead.
When do you go at stop and stop when done?
I don't know, I'm not a pedophile.
Why does Snoop Dogg use an umbrella?
Fo' drizzle.
Famous last words.
Twin towers: “Is it a bird, is it Superman? AAAAAHHHHHH SHHHHHIIIIIIIIIZZ!”
Stephen Hawking died because his wife misunderstood him when he said, "My Windows Needs Updating." She had the double glazing removed, and he fell out and died.
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?
Because the "p" is silent.
What's the name for a short legged tramp?
A low-down bum.
What did the skeleton say before dinner? "Bone appetit." His whole family found that humerus.