Miscellaneous jokes
Why did the cow smell?
'Cause the horse gave it a pat on the back.
Who do you call someone that steals his brother's girlfriend and [is] disowned by his whole family? Brandon.
Three cowboys are at a fire talking about the best things they have done.
Cowboy 1 says, "I have taken out a whole group of raiders with my bare hands."
Cowboy 2 says, "I have killed a herd of bulls with my thumb."
Cowboy 3 chuckles as he mixes the fire with his dick.
Why don't they put petals on wheelchairs so when our arms get tired, we just use our legs?
So many of these jokes are unoriginal, and you guys need to step up your game.
Did you hear about the boy who sat under a cow?
He got a pat on the head.
What is it called when a gay guy punches someone?
Fruit punch.
Lettuce ketchup.
What's the difference between a bird and a fly?
A bird can fly, but a fly can't bird!
A doctor fell into a well and broke his collarbone.
The doctor should attend the sick and leave the well alone!
Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to help check her balance. So I pushed her over.
What did the grape say when he got squished? Nothing, he just let out a little wine.
Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? Why couldn't the pervert cross the road? Because his dick was in the chicken's ass!
Whoever is deleting my messages, comment and say why!
Daughter: Where was I born?
Dad: Alabama.
Daughter: That is nice.
Mum: We have never been to Alabama.
Dad: RUN!
I find bananas very appeeling.
My favorite instrument? The TromBONE, of course.
What does a skeleton tile his roof with?
Shin-gles!
Where do leg amputees go to buy a car?
IHOP
I'm taking a guitar lesson at school. My band instructor told me he was going to hit me with my guitar. I asked him if that was a "fret."