Three cowboys are at a fire talking about the best things they have done.
Cowboy 1 says, "I have taken out a whole group of raiders with my bare hands."
Cowboy 2 says, "I have killed a herd of bulls with my thumb."
Cowboy 3 chuckles as he mixes the fire with his dick.
Why don't they put petals on wheelchairs so when our arms get tired, we just use our legs?
Who do you call someone that steals his brother's girlfriend and [is] disowned by his whole family? Brandon.
What's the difference between a bird and a fly?
A bird can fly, but a fly can't bird!
Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to help check her balance. So I pushed her over.
What is it called when a gay guy punches someone?
Fruit punch.
Lettuce ketchup.
So many of these jokes are unoriginal, and you guys need to step up your game.
Did you hear about the boy who sat under a cow?
He got a pat on the head.
A doctor fell into a well and broke his collarbone.
The doctor should attend the sick and leave the well alone!
Iron Man dies.
Whoever is deleting my messages, comment and say why!
My favorite instrument? The TromBONE, of course.
What does a skeleton tile his roof with?
Shin-gles!
I find bananas very appeeling.
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
It didn't have the guts to do it.
Our family is known for unusually sloppy diarrhea.
It runs in our jeans.
Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? Why couldn't the pervert cross the road? Because his dick was in the chicken's ass!
The reason I'm gay is because I'm scared of getting cooties.
What did the grape say when he got squished? Nothing, he just let out a little wine.
