Miscellaneous jokes
Your mama is so stupid, when her phone died, she bared it, lol.
How many times does it take to make an octopus laugh?
Tentacles!
Ha, gay!
Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick her candy, but Jack had a shock and a mouth full of cock, and Jill's real name was Randy.
I tried to take a picture of some fog. I mist.
Me: *looks at person's hand* This guy doesn't have fingers!
Random person with no fingers: Why do you have to point that out?
A retard walks into a bar.
Bartender: Hey, retard retard retard retard retard retard retard retard retard retard retard!
Thank you for listening to joke, sincerely - Jokeman87848584
What kind of file do you need to turn a 15 mm hole into a 40 mm hole? A pedophile.
Yo mama like a penny: two-faced, worthless, and in everybody’s pants.
What if some kid was like, "I'm going to shoot up the school!", and then someone just pulls up with a reverse card?
Why are you censoring my friend Franz? He's just making jokes, but you admins get offended too easily, f*cktards!
What did the chicken say when he crossed the road?
Quack!
What do you call a candle in armor?
A knight light.
What does a turtle and a pedophile have in common? They both want to get there before the hare does.
My friends.
How many Lowe’s could Rob Lowe rob if Rob Lowe could rob Lowe’s?
How do you wake up Lady Gaga?
Poker Face.
What do terrorists do on 9/11? They have a game of Jenga.
What happened when the semicolon broke grammar laws?
It was given two consecutive sentences.
A blond-haired girl, a brown-haired girl, and a ginger-haired girl were out walking when they came across some tracks.
The brown-haired girl looked at them and said, "I think they are elephant tracks."
Then the ginger-haired girl looked at the tracks and said, "No way, they are definitely duck tracks."
Finally, the blond-haired girl bent down to examine the tracks when she got hit by the train.