Miscellaneous jokes
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to KFC.
Why was Goofy in the bathroom?
He was goofing off!
I like my coffee like I like my women.
Me: No one likes Shrek; he is just a fat green guy.
Friend: Hey! Stop talking about me.
Shaenaya hates me, help! And she wants to suck off ******* and ****** and ***** and *****.
Why was your mom so into me?
'Cause she was the man.
What is you you?
"Dick, you're fired."
"I'd buy that for a dollar."
Q: You know what's morbid at a storage sale?
A: They give you more bids.
What do you call your son?
An mistake.
Robert Smith walks into a hospital. The nurse says, "We have the cure!"
Me.
The joke is as short as me.
Friend: Do you know him?
Other Friend: Know who?
Friend: My dick!
I was trying to make a joke about fighting, but I couldn't come up with a good punchline.
You suck.
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
The 9/11 victims, they went through 700 stories in 10 seconds.
Q: What is the difference between a drunk and a stoner at a stop sign?
A: The drunk guy runs it, and the stoner waits for it to turn green!
What did the lampshade say to the light bulb?
You brighten my day.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Theodore.
Theodore who?
Theodore is locked, that is why I knocked.
There was a dino at the library today.
It was reading a thesaurus.