Miscellaneous jokes
What is you you?
Q: You know what's morbid at a storage sale?
A: They give you more bids.
What do you call your son?
An mistake.
Apex Legends: exists.
Titanfall fandom: (Literally on fire and at war with itself) "Everything is fine."
There was a dino at the library today.
It was reading a thesaurus.
If two people who have the clap sleep together, did they make an applause?
There are two muffins baking in the oven. One muffin says to the other, “Phew, is it getting hot in here or is it just me?”
The other muffin says, “AAAAHHH!! A TALKING MUFFIN!”
What's black, long and full of seamen?
A submarine.
In the words of Kerk Cobane: "Check this sweet no scope!"
"Dick, you're fired."
"I'd buy that for a dollar."
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to KFC.
They say that bad things happen to good people.
So if you get run over by a car just know you're a good person.
Your d*** size...
What did the lampshade say to the light bulb?
You brighten my day.
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
The 9/11 victims, they went through 700 stories in 10 seconds.
Q: What is the difference between a drunk and a stoner at a stop sign?
A: The drunk guy runs it, and the stoner waits for it to turn green!
I don't usually like to tell 9/11 jokes for two reasons: they're morally wrong, and they tend to crash and burn.
Me.
The joke is as short as me.
Why did the chicken cross the plane to get to the other skyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy lloooooooooooooooooooool?
Your life? Wanna hear a sadder one?
My life.