Miscellaneous jokes
From the wise words of my friend, "You ain't a man 'til you had a man."
Your mama is so old that she forgot her donkey on Noah's Ark.
My boss told me to have a good day, so I went home.
Three cowboys are at a fire talking about the best things they have done.
Cowboy 1 says, "I have taken out a whole group of raiders with my bare hands."
Cowboy 2 says, "I have killed a herd of bulls with my thumb."
Cowboy 3 chuckles as he mixes the fire with his dick.
Q: Why can't you run through a campground?
A: You can only ran, because it's past tents!
Roses are red, violets are blue, this poem doesn’t make sense, washing machine.
What's small, has no dad, and looks like Bugs Bunny?
Ben after he trips over the giant curb!
Hey Autocorrect- STOP TAMPERING WITH MY CURSE WORDS YOU MOTHERDUCKING FORKLIFT!
What do you call a midget that waves? A microwave.
What do you do when your dishwasher breaks down?
You punch her in the face and remind her of her duties.
My sister got in a car crash a couple days ago. When she got to the hospital, the doctor told her that she needed to get metal mechanics in her leg.
She got really scared and yelled at the doctor, telling them that, “I will not get those implanted in my leg.” I guess she just doesn’t associate with knee gears.
Why can't Stephen Hawking go metal detecting?
Because when it beeps, it's him!
How do you catch a unique rabbit?
You-neak up on it.
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What is Forrest Gump's email password?
1forrest1
Wanna hear a construction joke?
Nah, I'm still working on it.
I lost my job at a research facility. The people were too chill for me.
Q: What did Darth Vader say to his smashed wristwatch?
A: I find your lack of face disturbing.
Chuck: Do you have holes in your underpants?
Teacher: No, of course not.
Chuck: Then how do you get your feet through?
Why don't they put petals on wheelchairs so when our arms get tired, we just use our legs?