Miscellaneous jokes
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide.
Why can't Stephen Hawking go metal detecting?
Because when it beeps, it's him!
Pizzaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!
Have you read "50 Yards to the Outhouse" by Willie Makeit and Probly Not?
When that one night stand says she has AIDS but you laugh, "I choose D!"
She says...wait what?? I have all of the above! XD
Hey! Some idiot drew a cat on this pillar! Wait... does that make it a caterpillar?
Mortar is like a woman's fanny; the more you play with it, the wetter it gets.
My tutor just said this quote of 2k18^^^
Pontypool is rough.
"Where ya going?"
"When I die, hell, but right now, my room."
Are you a Chipotle bowl? Because I wanna eat you out.
I would tell a joke about my abusive dad, but I can only think of the punchline.
What? A telephone? Nah, I'm using a telebone.
What are you on? YouTube.
Hellllllllloooooo
What do you call a black man on the moon?
An astronaut.
Kill yourself, hoes!
Penis.
A man is out west driving and on the edge of town comes across a tourist stand and sitting in front is an Indian chief right out of central casting. Dour look, full headdress, a glass jar and a sign that says "Indian chief know all! $5". So the fellow's curiosity gets the better of him and he goes up to the chief, puts $5 in the jar and asks "What did I have for breakfast on this day 10 years ago?" Chief taps his chin for a moment and says "Hmmm eggs. You had eggs!"
"Eggs?" shouts the guy "Everybody has eggs! I've been had!" throws his hands in the air and leaves in a huff.
Ten years on, as fate would have it the fellow has occasion to be driving through the same town and sure enough he comes across the same stand, Indian chief, sign, and jar. So he stops the car and saunters across the road, goes up to the chief like a smart-ass, holds up his hand and says "How". Chief taps his chin for a moment and says "Poached."
Q: How did we learn cats don't land on their feet?
A: We asked Mufasa from the Lion King.
Q: What is green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you?
A: A pool table.
Your mama so fat, she filled up Minecraft's block limit! lol XD