Miscellaneous jokes
I thought the dryer made my clothes shrink.
Turns out it was the fridge.
What happens once every minute, twice every millennium, but never in a hundred years?
The letter M.
Why did Miss Stephen get divorced? She didn't float, too.
What do you call an angry shopper?
A cuss-tomer.
Kevin Woody (look him up)
If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.
What is Forrest Gump's email password?
1forrest1
Roses are red, I like weed,
If you say yes then I'll do a "good deed."
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
'Cause she didn't wear a seatbelt.
I like my women how I like my coffee... HOT.
What type of comedy can't Steven Hawking do?
Stand-up comedy.
Why are graveyards so popular? Because people are always dying to get into them.
Two TV antennas got married. The church ceremony was terrible, but the reception was fantastic!
Wanna hear a construction joke?
Nah, I'm still working on it.
Why does Waldo wear stripes?
He doesn't want to be spotted.
"Bippity Boppity Boop! Bill Cosby's coming for you!"
Guys, there is no need to worry about anti-vaxxers. The more there are, the less there are.
/setblock minecraft_morbid_joke
/playsound pained_laugh
Why did the plane crash in the ocean? Because the pilot saw steward Undercut!
How do chemists laugh?
HeHe.