Miscellaneous jokes
Year 10 English.
Why does Snoop Dogg use an umbrella?
Fo' drizzle.
Hey Autocorrect- STOP TAMPERING WITH MY CURSE WORDS YOU MOTHERDUCKING FORKLIFT!
Nobody:
Me: "Nobody:" "Me:"
My family.
I wish my lawn was emo, so I would not have to cut it, it would cut itself.
Why does Waldo wear stripes?
He doesn't want to be spotted.
What do you call a creepy flower? A Pedel-File!
Guys, there is no need to worry about anti-vaxxers. The more there are, the less there are.
ICH BIN GOTT.
What is Forrest Gump's email password?
1forrest1
What do you call an angry shopper?
A cuss-tomer.
Why did Miss Stephen get divorced? She didn't float, too.
What happens once every minute, twice every millennium, but never in a hundred years?
The letter M.
Student: Why does everyone hate me?
Another student: Because U got the A last night.
12/8?
We’ll be back.
I thought the dryer made my clothes shrink.
Turns out it was the fridge.
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are robbing a bank. The police are soon after them, so they hide in a bunch of barrels.
The police arrive and search the area. They come over to the barrel where the brunette is hiding and kicks it. The brunette says, "Woof."
"Oh, it's just a dog," says the police officer, and then kicks the second barrel where the redhead is hidden. The redhead says, "Meow."
"Oh, it's just a cat," says the officer, then kicks the last barrel where the blonde is hidden. The blonde says, "Potato."
Donald Trump is, like, really orange.