Milk jokes

I will be back, I'm gonna get milk...

Me:...

What do you call a bee that produces milk? Booby.

Yesterday I was asked where my parents are. I said, "Getting milk."

Do you know why Daddy never comes back to get the milk? Because he’s the milkman.

Why did Cleopatra bathe in milk? She couldn’t find a cow tall enough to have a shower.

What does a bullet and milk have in common? They both take out your dad.

I went home to my girlfriend with milk! She said, "Oh thank you honey!"

Then I got a call from a girl named Melissa. She called and said, "Steven, where the hell have you been? It's been two weeks and you still haven't come back yet?"

What did the orphan say to his dad last?

Please get non-fat milk!

Does an orphanage have daddy issues?

Yes, because he didn't come back from getting the milk.

10 years ago my dad said I should eat cereal with water until he comes back with the milk... I still eat cereal with water, sadly.

Child: Hello, I can’t find my dad.

Stranger: Oh, well when and where did you last see him?

Child: Oh, I remember, 5 years ago he went to get some milk here.

A lady walked into a bar and ordered their special drink. The bartender then gave her a brown glass full of milk. The lady complained about this, but then the bartender said, "Just shut up and swallow!"

Why do orphans eat cereal with water?

Because their daddy still hasn't come home with the milk.

Old Mother Riley, had a fat cow.

She milked it and milked it but didn't know how, she pulled his tail, pulled his tits. Old Mother Riley was covered in sh!t.

What do you call expired milk?

The Milky Way.

My boyfriend came over today and stole my milk. How dairy!

My friend went to buy some milk, why is she not back yet?

I just encountered a father and son moment over some milk.

The dad finally came back with the milk!

One day I asked my mom where kids came from. She said the man who went to the milk store.

Five years later, he came back and left again.

Cow: *can't be milked for 20 years*

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