Michael jokes

What is Michael Jackson's favorite fruit?

Boisenberry.

What did Michael Jackson find on his bedsheets?

Billie's Jeans... Hee hee!

What's brown and in a baby's diaper?

Michael Jackson's hand.

I murdered my friend's brother because he kept saying "HEE HEE" like Michael Jackson when I was trying to have a serious conversation. I just found out he was disabled. That's a THRILLER.

Knock, knock. Who's there? Little Boy Blue. Little Boy Blue who? Michael Jackson.

Michael has canceled his upcoming dates. They were Tommy, age 9, and Bobby, 11.

How did Michael Jackson die?

Because he danced like a zombie!

What's worse than ants in your pants?

Michael Jackson.

In memory of Michael Jackson, various ice cream companies are introducing the Jackson Chocolate ice cream. It is either 50 year old cream mixed in with 10 year old nuts, or 7 year old vanilla ice cream with 50 year old chocolate drizzled on 4 year old tiny nuts.

Why did Michael Jackson die?

Because I have a new phone number, and he does not know.

Why didn't Michael Jackson get away with messaging with kids? Because they were all juveniles.

What does Michael Joseph Jackson say to adults when he sees them?

Keep away from me-hee-hee.

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Jeffrey Epstein?

Only difference between Michael and Jeffrey is Epstein wasn't a smooth criminal, and Michael was.

When did Michael say, "This is it"?

2009.

What does Michael Jackson like?

Teabags.

Yo mama is so ugly, she gave Michael Myers nightmares.

Your hairline is so screwed that Michael Jackson can't even moonwalk to your hairline.

Michael J. Fox walks into an ice cream parlor.

The man behind the counter asks Michael, "Can I help you?"

Michael exclaims, "I would like an ice cream."

The man behind the counter asks, "What flavor?"

Michael says, "It doesn't matter what flavor, I'm gonna fucken drop it anyway."

So, a man goes to church and is dipped in water three times by a Priest as he says, "From now on your name is Michael, and you will shed your sins of gambling and alcohol."

Soon after, the man heads home and rushes to the fridge to grab a can of beer. He turns on the sink and dips the beer can in the water three times while saying, "From now on you will be known as Not Alcohol."

Three men die at the same time and go to Heaven. St. Peter says to them, "It's going to be a long journey to heaven, so I will give you a good vehicle depending on how much you've cheated on your wives."

"We'll start with you, Michael. Since you were quite the womanizer and cheated on your wife multiple times, you will be getting a Toyota." The man, embarrassed, left in the Toyota.

"Nolan, you were better; you cheated on your wife twice, so I will give you a Mercedes. Now, as for you, Mark, you never cheated on your wife; you are an absolute saint, so I will be giving you a Lamborghini."

The man in the Toyota saw the man with the Lamborghini the next day crying like a child on his car, and he asked the man in the Lamborghini, "What the hell is going on?"

The man in the Lamborghini says, "I just saw my wife riding through the streets of Heaven on roller skates!"