Michael jokes
Name one person who would take an orphan?
Michael Jackson, so they can play all night.
What did Michael Jackson say to the kid sitting on his lap?
"Just beat it."
Why can't Michael Jackson play baseball?
He made a hit and run!
What does Michael Jackson say when it gets hot?
He-he-eat!
What did Michael Jackson say when dinner was ready? Ea-ea-eat.
What is the difference between Michael Phelps and Hitler?...
Michael Phelps can finish a race.
What does Michael Jackson and an Xbox have in common?
Kids turn them on.
I was watching a documentary about how storks carry babies from their previous life to the next.
In his old life, Michael Jackson must’ve been a teddy bear. The storks let him play with kids for a change.
Michael Jackson is like a TV from the 1900s: black and white.
Who's white and has a big penis? Michael Jackson.
What show would have made Michael Jackson a superstar for television? To Catch a Predator, for obvious reasons.
What's Michael Jackson got in common with Santa?
They both empty their sacks around children.
How to get your joke on every category? Michael Jackson, towers, morbid, emo, school, short, penis, sects, little Jonny.
Why is Michael Jackson on the naughty list this year?
Because he sexually kids 😂
What's the difference Michael Jackson and a play station have in common...
They're both plastic and kids turn them on.
The teacher asked a young boy in primary school, "Can you tell me the alphabet?"
To which the boy replies, "No."
The teacher then sets his homework to learn the alphabet.
At home, the boy goes up to his mum, who is on the phone, and asks, "Can you tell me the alphabet?"
"Shut up," she replied.
The boy goes to his dad, who just won the footie match, and asks, "Can you teach me the alphabet?"
But the dad is too busy celebrating and shouting, "Hell yeah! Hell yeah! Yeaaahh!"
The boy goes to his big brother and asks him to teach him the alphabet.
But his brother is singing, "I'm Michael Jackson, I'm Michael Jackson!"
The boy goes to his sister and asks her for the alphabet.
But his sister is singing, "In my big red car, in my big red car!"
The next day the teacher asks him the alphabet.
The boy replies, "Shut up."
"Alright, I'm sending you to the principal's office right now."
The boy replies, "Hell yeah! Hell yeah! Yeaaahh!"
In the office, the principal says, "Who do you think you are?"
The boy replies, "I'm Michael Jackson, I'm Michael Jackson!"
The principal now says, "How do you think you'll get away with this?"
The boy then replies, "In my big red car, in my big red car!"
Random person: Imma smack you so hard your skin pigment changes!
Me: Who the hell do you think you are? Michael Jackson’s dad?
What’s Michael Jackson’s favorite movie?
Black and white.
What's harder than titanium? Michael Jackson at the playground.
What does Michael Jackson and tuna fish have in common?
They both come in small can.