Michael

Michael Jokes

Flavor

What was Michael Jackson's favorite flavor from Ben and Jerry's? "Schweaty balls," or if you're Michael Joseph Jackson, "tiny balls."

Thriller

I murdered my friend's brother because he kept saying "HEE HEE" like Michael Jackson when I was trying to have a serious conversation. I just found out he was disabled. That's a THRILLER.

Date

Michael has canceled his upcoming dates. They were Tommy, age 9, and Bobby, 11.

Ice Cream

In memory of Michael Jackson, various ice cream companies are introducing the Jackson Chocolate ice cream. It is either 50 year old cream mixed in with 10 year old nuts, or 7 year old vanilla ice cream with 50 year old chocolate drizzled on 4 year old tiny nuts.

Ice Cream

Michael J. Fox walks into an ice cream parlor.

The man behind the counter asks Michael, "Can I help you?"

Michael exclaims, "I would like an ice cream."

The man behind the counter asks, "What flavor?"

Michael says, "It doesn't matter what flavor, I'm gonna fucken drop it anyway."

Hairline

Your hairline is so screwed that Michael Jackson can't even moonwalk to your hairline.