Mental Health jokes
When I was feeling suicidal, I called the suicide hotline and they left me hanging.
My therapist said I have trouble letting go of the past. So I killed him.
POV: You keep having auditory hallucinations and fully believe your house is haunted because you never went and got diagnosed for schizophrenia.
I think DJT has FTD.
My friend: I want to cut myself.
Me: No, don’t do that. *hands lighter* Do this instead.
Sometimes I wish my grass was depressed, then it would just cut itself.
What's the one thing that makes a depressed person jump? A bridge.
Guys, should I do it? You know what I mean.
How can you tell what kind of emo you are?
By how deep the cuts are on your forearm.
Symptoms of Schizophrenia.
The symptoms of this condition are fairly easy to recognize because they stand out so distinctly from a person’s usual behavior. In order for a diagnosis to be made, the person must suffer from two or more of the following for at least one month:
Delusions
Hallucinations
Don’t suicide! Please don’t, it’s horrible, and you will hurt so many people that love you.
That’s why no one will be hurt.
I once called a group of emos "the suicide squad."
85% of us are good at school, while the other 15% is good at suicide.
(Teach me your ways, 15%.)
What's the difference between depression and a girl?
XXXTentacion can't seem to beat depression.
How do u get a depressed person out of a tree?
You cut the rope they hung themself in...
"Knock knock?"
"Who's there?"
"Depression"
"Depression wh-"
ME!! *runs away*
Where do depressed people go to eat?
Suicide Sonic.
What jumps higher than a basketball player?
An emo kid, they never touch the ground.
I got so bad about cutting myself every time I went to the bathroom, I wanted to break my jacket zipper off and use that!
What's one thing you should never ask a suicidal person? "Are you okay?" because the next day they'll either be dead or have a lot more cuts than they started with.
To those who are dead now, was it fun?