Mental Health jokes

My friend: I want to cut myself.

Me: No, don’t do that. *hands lighter* Do this instead.

When I was feeling suicidal, I called the suicide hotline and they left me hanging.

My therapist said I have trouble letting go of the past. So I killed him.

Q. What's the biggest cause of infant drownings? A. Postpartum depression.

Symptoms of Schizophrenia.

The symptoms of this condition are fairly easy to recognize because they stand out so distinctly from a person’s usual behavior. In order for a diagnosis to be made, the person must suffer from two or more of the following for at least one month:

Delusions

Hallucinations

Don’t suicide! Please don’t, it’s horrible, and you will hurt so many people that love you.

That’s why no one will be hurt.

I once called a group of emos "the suicide squad."

85% of us are good at school, while the other 15% is good at suicide.

(Teach me your ways, 15%.)

What's the difference between depression and a girl?

XXXTentacion can't seem to beat depression.

"Knock knock?"

"Who's there?"

"Depression"

"Depression wh-"

ME!! *runs away*

Where do depressed people go to eat?

Suicide Sonic.

How do u get a depressed person out of a tree?

You cut the rope they hung themself in...

I got so bad about cutting myself every time I went to the bathroom, I wanted to break my jacket zipper off and use that!

What jumps higher than a basketball player?

An emo kid, they never touch the ground.

Imagine being depressed. Couldn’t be me.

What's one thing you should never ask a suicidal person? "Are you okay?" because the next day they'll either be dead or have a lot more cuts than they started with.

To those who are dead now, was it fun?

I am going to scream, this is a cry for help.

I'M SOOOO SAD. (I have depression btw)

What do you call a kid hanging? An emo kid!

So, I went up to an emo and I said, "Why did you steal my bar code from my chips?"