Mental Health jokes

Guys, should I do it? You know what I mean.

My therapist said I have trouble letting go of the past. So I killed him.

I think DJT has FTD.

My therapist said, "Time heals all wounds," so I cut her.

When I was feeling suicidal, I called the suicide hotline and they left me hanging.

What's the one thing that makes a depressed person jump? A bridge.

My friend: I want to cut myself.

Me: No, don’t do that. *hands lighter* Do this instead.

Sometimes I wish my grass was depressed, then it would just cut itself.

I told an emo kid that we were going to hang (hangout), but they took it too literal.

Your arms are open. They stretch towards me, Reaching, grabbing, pulling me, Surrounding me, Drowning me in my helplessness. Time standing still, inside here. Looking through windows, time passing by. Let me go, will ya?

How many emissions does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, they just sit in the dark and cry.

What shouldn't you ask an emo?

"Do a wrist reveal."

Why do people want their grass to be emo?

So the grass will cut itself.

Wow, he stole my antidepressant toy. The next day, he was on the ground.

What did one emo kid say to the other? "Nice cuts, G!" (because they like to cut themselves).

POV: You keep having auditory hallucinations and fully believe your house is haunted because you never went and got diagnosed for schizophrenia.

Phone: YEETED.

TikTok: DELETED.

Therapy: NEEDED.

Wife: BEATED.

I don't get people who treat you like shit and cross your boundaries, then are surprised when you have depression.

It's because of them after all. 🥰✨️

Everyone: "Wow, you're so nice and perfect! Your life must be great!"

*Reality of having depression* Me: "Oh yeah, I guess. 😀"

DEPRESSION SPEEDRUN starter-kit:

* Parental issues * Money problems * Genetic likeliness * Horrible friends * Annoying neighbors/classmates * School * Being alive * Actually being a good person for once * Giving a f#ck * War-ridden area * All future options kinda suck