Mental Health jokes
Some people say I like heights; others say I'm a daredevil.
In reality, I like killing myself.
What do you say to a depressed person on the ceiling?
Hang in there!
me: calls suicide hotline. hotline lady: suicide hotline, how are you doing today? me: not much, just hanging.
Do trees pee?
How else do we have No. 1 pencils?
My entire family "TAKE THIS GIRL TO AN ASYLUM!!!"
Me "OH NO" 💀
How does the next train stop for a depressive person? Death.
What's the difference between a depressed person and a pizza?
Pizza won't cut itself.
How long does it take for a depressed person to change a light bulb?
5 days. & I’m pretty proud of myself.
Have you ever observed the depression cycle of a snail?
It's pretty much a downward spiral.
What's the depressed person's favorite song?
Van Halen - Jump
What do you get when I get mixed with coffee?
De-presso.
This is to the girl/boy named Gwen: Are you okay? I see there is a bunch of haters but DON'T, I repeat, DON'T let the haters get to you. I hope you see this and respond and that you are okay. Please Gwen, be honest.
What do Logan Paul, KSI, and the Japanese suicide victim have in common?
Tying.
what's a depressed person's favorite game?
hangman
What's the difference between depression and your ex?
Depression fucks you harder.
What do you call a group of depressed kids?
The suicide squad.
Mickey Mouse went to a psychologist and told him, “I’m having problems with my girlfriend.”
The psychologist said, “You mentioned that you think she is crazy.”
He said, “I didn’t say she was crazy, I said she’s fucking Goofy!”
Friend 1: What's your favorite drink or food?
Friend 2: Pizza.
Friend 3: Donuts.
Friend 4: I don't eat food but I do drink bleach.
Friend 1: (calling the suicide hotline)
Friend 2: (Calling the parents)
Knock knock. Who's there? Crippling depression. Crippling depression who? Me.
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Seven’s been worried about six even since he left Afghanistan. Every time 6 closes his eyes, he sees the war and hears the gunshots. He sees the blood, the killing, the death, and soldiers falling. When he looks at seven, he remembers when they were forced to eat their own flesh to not starve in those caves. He sees the war and the flashbacks will come back forever, burned into his soul and mind.
What do you call a group of depressed kids?
The suicide squad.