Mental Health jokes
Did you hear of the guy who was sad about being in a wheelchair? He had that crippling depression.
Hey, are you suicide? 'Cause I dream of you every day! <3
What's a depressed kid's favorite holiday?.... Christmas because everything is hanging.
What's great about an emo pizza?
It cuts itself. Yay!
Who can jump the highest? Depressed asses, some say they’re still in the air.
What do you call a depressed tree?
A wood cutter.
What type of camp does a kid with ADHD go to?
Concentration camp.
My suicidal friend said he liked trains, so we took him to the tracks.
What do sloths and depressed people have in common?
They both hang from the tree.
A depressed man has been thinking of killing himself, and his friend says, "Find Jesus instead, he'll help you!"
And then the man says, "It's pretty hard to 'get help' from something that doesn't exist."
Sorry for all the jokes, I'll end it.
How is an emo kid’s wrist like Pink Floyd?
It’s all shitty until you reach the final cut.
Me: I have depression.
Someone: You should get out more! Go outside!
Me: *goes to the beach* Now it's a tropical depression.
My friend was feeling low today, so I went up to her and said, "You know, I would hang in there if I was you, swaying through life." I don't think she likes me now.
Friend: Stop with the self harm jokes, they're not funny.
Me: It's not that deep. I'll cut it out.
What’s the difference between my lawn and my wrists?
Nothing, I cut both of them.
I'm not suicidal, I'm just speedrunning life.
You can understand depression if you are still in school and get bullied by bullies, punished by teachers, and scolded by parents for being that quiet kid who says nothing.
Teacher: Kids, what are some things you have that make you happy? Kid 1: I have my family to make me happy. Kid 2: I have my friends to make me happy. Teacher: What about you, Sean? Sean: I have to take pills to make me happy...
Me to my friend: I only date suicidal girls.
My friend: Why?
Me: Because that pussy is limited edition.