Mental Health jokes
It's funny how you feel so alone with depression, and yet once you tell people on some random website, so many people relate. Unfortunately, it doesn't stop the loneliness.
Some people say I like heights; others say I'm a daredevil.
In reality, I like killing myself.
Do trees pee?
How else do we have No. 1 pencils?
My entire family "TAKE THIS GIRL TO AN ASYLUM!!!"
Me "OH NO" 💀
me: calls suicide hotline. hotline lady: suicide hotline, how are you doing today? me: not much, just hanging.
What's the depressed person's favorite song?
Van Halen - Jump
How does the next train stop for a depressive person? Death.
Have you ever observed the depression cycle of a snail?
It's pretty much a downward spiral.
What's the difference between a depressed person and a pizza?
Pizza won't cut itself.
How long does it take for a depressed person to change a light bulb?
5 days. & I’m pretty proud of myself.
What do you get when I get mixed with coffee?
De-presso.
I told my therapist I feel suicidal. He charged me in advance.
This is to the girl/boy named Gwen: Are you okay? I see there is a bunch of haters but DON'T, I repeat, DON'T let the haters get to you. I hope you see this and respond and that you are okay. Please Gwen, be honest.
What do Logan Paul, KSI, and the Japanese suicide victim have in common?
Tying.
what's a depressed person's favorite game?
hangman
What's the difference between depression and your ex?
Depression fucks you harder.
What do you call a group of depressed kids?
The suicide squad.
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Seven’s been worried about six even since he left Afghanistan. Every time 6 closes his eyes, he sees the war and hears the gunshots. He sees the blood, the killing, the death, and soldiers falling. When he looks at seven, he remembers when they were forced to eat their own flesh to not starve in those caves. He sees the war and the flashbacks will come back forever, burned into his soul and mind.
Friend 1: What's your favorite drink or food?
Friend 2: Pizza.
Friend 3: Donuts.
Friend 4: I don't eat food but I do drink bleach.
Friend 1: (calling the suicide hotline)
Friend 2: (Calling the parents)
Mickey Mouse went to a psychologist and told him, “I’m having problems with my girlfriend.”
The psychologist said, “You mentioned that you think she is crazy.”
He said, “I didn’t say she was crazy, I said she’s fucking Goofy!”
Knock knock. Who's there? Crippling depression. Crippling depression who? Me.