Mental Health jokes

Therapist: So how depressed would you say you’ve been feeling lately?

Me: I don’t care anymore if my foot hangs over the bed where a monster can get it.

Therapist [whispering]: Jesus, wow.

my therapist says with time all wounds can heal.

So I stabbed him. Now we wait.

What does a depressed person and a fashion enthusiast have in common?

They both have something hanging in their closet.

You can understand depression if you are still in school and get bullied by bullies, punished by teachers, and scolded by parents for being that quiet kid who says nothing.

What's the difference between a depressed person and a pizza? Pizza won't cut itself.

Hi, if you are suffering with depression and want to talk about it, please do so in the comments, and just know you are NOT alone.

Suicidal ideation is like wanting to slaughter someone but knowing/feeling that you can't. It's also, in a way, kind of like seeing a really hot chick that you wish you could F, but you again for whatever reason you either feel you can't or you just can't.

Depression, I got it.

A girlfriend, don't got it.

A life, don't got it.

Help, got it.

Friends, don't got it.

Family, I got it.

Best of all, depression, I got it!!!!!!

You know what flowers and depressed people have in common?

Both end up getting cut.

I'm going to draw a picture. A picture with a twist. I'll draw it with a razor blade. I'll draw it on my wrist.

1 minute silence for those who still think thoughts can't kill you.

What did everyone say about the crazy unemployed homeless man?

He made no cents.

Did you hear of the guy who was sad about being in a wheelchair? He had that crippling depression.

What do Spider-Man and suicidal people have in common?

They both hang.

Do trees pee?

How else do we have No. 1 pencils?

My entire family "TAKE THIS GIRL TO AN ASYLUM!!!"

Me "OH NO" 💀

me: calls suicide hotline. hotline lady: suicide hotline, how are you doing today? me: not much, just hanging.

Some people say I like heights; others say I'm a daredevil.

In reality, I like killing myself.

That moment when the emo kid hangs himself in a bathroom stall, and the autistic kid thinks it's a pinata.

What do you say to a depressed person on the ceiling?

Hang in there!

It's funny how you feel so alone with depression, and yet once you tell people on some random website, so many people relate. Unfortunately, it doesn't stop the loneliness.