Mental Health jokes

Can all the hot, depressed, suicidal guys just text me so we can meet up and cry together about how depressed we are. For real.

I was once friends with a schizophrenic emo. He tried high-fiving a tree, but it only left him hanging.

Therapist: So how depressed would you say you’ve been feeling lately?

Me: I don’t care anymore if my foot hangs over the bed where a monster can get it.

Therapist [whispering]: Jesus, wow.

my therapist says with time all wounds can heal.

So I stabbed him. Now we wait.

A new drug has been developed for lesbians with depression.

It’s called Trycoxagain.

Suicidal ideation is like wanting to slaughter someone but knowing/feeling that you can't. It's also, in a way, kind of like seeing a really hot chick that you wish you could F, but you again for whatever reason you either feel you can't or you just can't.

What does a depressed person and a fashion enthusiast have in common?

They both have something hanging in their closet.

What do you call a depressed tree?

A wood cutter.

What's the difference between a depressed person and a pizza? Pizza won't cut itself.

Hi, if you are suffering with depression and want to talk about it, please do so in the comments, and just know you are NOT alone.

Depression, I got it.

A girlfriend, don't got it.

A life, don't got it.

Help, got it.

Friends, don't got it.

Family, I got it.

Best of all, depression, I got it!!!!!!

1 minute silence for those who still think thoughts can't kill you.

I'm going to draw a picture. A picture with a twist. I'll draw it with a razor blade. I'll draw it on my wrist.

You know what flowers and depressed people have in common?

Both end up getting cut.

What did everyone say about the crazy unemployed homeless man?

He made no cents.

Why can't depressed kids high five a tree? It will leave them hanging.

Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home!

A serial killer was at my house and killed all my family but me. Why? I was in the living room.

What do sloths and depressed people have in common? They both hang off trees.

What is a group of depressed kids called? The suicide squad.

Did you hear of the guy who was sad about being in a wheelchair? He had that crippling depression.

What do Spider-Man and suicidal people have in common?

They both hang.

A patient walked into a psychiatrist's office last week wrapped in nothing but Saran Wrap. The psychiatrist said, "I can clearly see your nuts."

What do you say to a depressed person on the ceiling?

Hang in there!