Mental Health jokes
A knife is like hallucinations, both in your head.
My friend, you lit my mind: that's what the lighter said to my thighs.
Even a psychopath is sympathetic when an onion self-harms!
What do you get when you mix up a group of emos?
Suicide squad.
What did the orphan say to the crippled man?
I suffer from crippling depression.
Are you my depression, because I’m falling for you?
Just because you‘re suicidal, you don‘t have to be a quitter.
Wait, actually.
I can't believe the suicide hotline put my cousin on hold. They left him hanging.
Suicidal people are a big contributor to the rope making industry.
How do you start a dance party?
Go into the PTSD ward of an insane asylum and set off fireworks and watch the magic unfold.
What keeps an emo kid from hitting the ground?
The rope.
What was Kurt Cobain's biggest flaw?
He had a short temper and lost his head over everything.
Imagine there’s a funny joke here. Imagine it? Great! Now check yourself into an insane asylum because you’re schizophrenic.
Q: Why do depressed people always have colored hair?
A: That’s as close as they can get to dye.
What do you call a group of depressed kids?
Suicide squad.
My friend was on a wheelchair... he committed suicide yesterday. I remember when I met him last time, he told us a good joke and I appreciated him and told him to become a stand-up comedian.
What's the difference between me and a hairdresser? We both cut too much.
I don’t struggle with depression, at this point I’ve got it down. I’m good at depression.
Me: Hey, how are you?
Depression: I'm doing fine. We are just looking for a home :3
Insomnia: Mommy, can we get a home?
Anxiety: Insomnia, wait for mommy to finish.
Depression: Anyway, here is my resume!
Me: Okie, thank you. Ok... mhmmm... WOW! Okie, this is a nice resume! (Didn't Read it...)
Depression: Also, I have two more friends that want to move in too!
Me: Ok, and their names?
Depression: Their names are: PTSD and Trauma!
Me: Ok, they seem fine (Doesn't know about them)
Depression: Okie, here is the money (a penny :(). Thank you, we will call you if we need anything.
Me: Ok, see you soon! :3
Me now hates my life. :)
How do you get a trans woman to commit suicide?
Use he/him pronouns on him.