Mental Health jokes

So, there's Fred and Frank. Now, they've been friends for years, but Fred, see, he's depressed. Badly.

Either way, so F+F are texting each other, and here's how it goes: (this is my first joke, so please don't judge too harshly)

Frank: Yo

Fred: Hi...

Frank: U heard about de competition?

Fred: Yeah...

Frank: You wanna hang out?

Fred: .......

Frank: What? I've got some noose (news) for you.

Fred: ...I(

Frank: Fine.... I guess we need to think of a plan, though. We don't wanna be hanging on the end.

Fred: *sigh* You know....you really can't rope me into this competition.

I got a detention because I told an emo kid to "hang in there."

Yeah, I'm made out of DNA.

✨ Depression and anxiety ✨

Why was the depressed man happy in food-tech?

He got to cut himself.

How to make an orphan BLEED?

Step 1 - Tell them to clap until they actually have a loving family.

Step 2 - LAUGH EVILLY as they BLEED.

Step 3 - Tell them to kys.

Step 4 - Leave that mental asylum.

I wish I didn't have depression because all my friends have "BBC Bitch be crazy" disease.

Q: Give a man a day of therapy, he'll be sad for then and on.

A: Give a man a noose, he'll be sad for the rest of his life.

There are too many suicidal people in this world. I’m going to make sure there is at least one less.

I was in a motivational seminar about depression the other day, and she said I could be anything I wanted to be if I put my mind to it. Sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and do it, even if it's messy.

Call a group of emo kids Suicide Squad.

Preventing suicide is best done by committing it.

I’ve got money and suicidal thoughts, and I’m all out of money.

I called the suicide hotline, and he suggested I draw on myself to distract myself.

I replied I'd get ink poisoning.

Wouldn't recommend, the police came.

It's always fun to take anti-depressants, you either choose to take one, or the whole bottle.

I don't struggle with depression- like, at this point, I have it down. I'm good at depression.

What makes emos jump?

Bridges.

My mom asked me if I was okay, so I replied, "I will be," and jumped out the window!

when you see a depressed kid, you walk up and say "wassup my lil barcode"

What did the depressed kid do in P.E.? They played with the jump rope, but they used it the wrong way.

What's the difference between me and my pencil sharpeners? Nothing, we're both broken.