I’ve got money and suicidal thoughts, and I’m all out of money.
What makes emos jump?
Bridges.
A guy barges into a psychiatrist’s office and screams, “Doctor! I have suicidal tendencies! What do I do?!”
The doctor calmly answers, “Pay me in advance.”
What did the depressed kid do in P.E.? They played with the jump rope, but they used it the wrong way.
What's the difference between me and my pencil sharpeners? Nothing, we're both broken.
My mom asked me if I was okay, so I replied, "I will be," and jumped out the window!
One depressed kid goes to high-five a tree, but the tree just left him hanging.
(demons in my head) I laugh to meet them...
I called the suicide hotline, and he suggested I draw on myself to distract myself.
I replied I'd get ink poisoning.
Wouldn't recommend, the police came.
Mom: You will make me kill myself.
Me who has cut first: I'll kill myself ✨first✨!
If you’ve got depression then your life is a joke. Everyone laughs at both
I don't struggle with depression. Like at this point I got it down. I'm good at depression.
I sometimes want rampage, but what good would that do?
I look for a way out, but there's not even a light shining through.
The times where all is dark, are the times that I need a mark.
Though people say that nobody will care, the truth is: there's always one who's fair.
That person may not be the one you expect, but I am here with a passion to redirect.
Once there was a time where I tried to end it all, because I only looked on the dark side.
Truth was I wanted to be heard, to be respected, to let someone know.
But that was in the past and this isn't about my dark ride, it's time for others to know that only a few words, can extinguish a glow.
What do you call an obese man with bipolar? Twins.
You aren't alone. If you ever need to chat, I'm here. From one person to another. I hate this condition. I wish we didn't struggle.
I was sad, so I called the depression hotline. Turns out the depression hotline is where people roast you until you are depressed.
Me to my friend: I only date suicidal girls.
My friend: Why?
Me: Because that pussy is limited edition.
1. just feeling sad. 2. depression. 3. self harm. 4. suicide.
Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
I have schizophrenia,
And so do I.
So, there's Fred and Frank. Now, they've been friends for years, but Fred, see, he's depressed. Badly.
Either way, so F+F are texting each other, and here's how it goes: (this is my first joke, so please don't judge too harshly)
Frank: Yo
Fred: Hi...
Frank: U heard about de competition?
Fred: Yeah...
Frank: You wanna hang out?
Fred: .......
Frank: What? I've got some noose (news) for you.
Fred: ...I(
Frank: Fine.... I guess we need to think of a plan, though. We don't wanna be hanging on the end.
Fred: *sigh* You know....you really can't rope me into this competition.
