Mental Health jokes

Can some hot depressed suicidal guy give me his number so we can cry about being depressed and wanting to die?

What do you call a group of depressed kids?

The suicide squad.

So, there's Fred and Frank. Now, they've been friends for years, but Fred, see, he's depressed. Badly.

Either way, so F+F are texting each other, and here's how it goes: (this is my first joke, so please don't judge too harshly)

Frank: Yo

Fred: Hi...

Frank: U heard about de competition?

Fred: Yeah...

Frank: You wanna hang out?

Fred: .......

Frank: What? I've got some noose (news) for you.

Fred: ...I(

Frank: Fine.... I guess we need to think of a plan, though. We don't wanna be hanging on the end.

Fred: *sigh* You know....you really can't rope me into this competition.

Yeah, I'm made out of DNA.

✨ Depression and anxiety ✨

I got a detention because I told an emo kid to "hang in there."

Why was the depressed man happy in food-tech?

He got to cut himself.

How to make an orphan BLEED?

Step 1 - Tell them to clap until they actually have a loving family.

Step 2 - LAUGH EVILLY as they BLEED.

Step 3 - Tell them to kys.

Step 4 - Leave that mental asylum.

I wish I didn't have depression because all my friends have "BBC Bitch be crazy" disease.

There's two types of emo people:

1. People that cut side to side.

2. And people that cut up and down.

The most efficient is up and down.

Q: Give a man a day of therapy, he'll be sad for then and on.

A: Give a man a noose, he'll be sad for the rest of his life.

what do you call an emo person who's not depressed?

dead.

My son came up to me and said, "Dad, I'm depressed."

I pointed to the spare room and said, "Hang in there, son."

Call me a worn-out sweater because I’m hanging on by a thread.

That’s about to become a rope around my neck.

A guy barges into a psychiatrist’s office and screams, “Doctor! I have suicidal tendencies! What do I do?!”

The doctor calmly answers, “Pay me in advance.”

It’s OK if emo kids always hang from the trees, but if we do it, it’s considered against the law.

My ex-boyfriend threatened to kill me because I was suicidal.

I wanted to tell him, "Well, can we get what we both want?" I was already planning on dying anyway.

Mom: You will make me kill myself.

Me who has cut first: I'll kill myself ✨first✨!

I once called a depressed guy [to ask] why he loves ropes so much, and he left HUNGing on the phone. (I'm not English, so I could've talked bad.)

Why did the emo kid not cross the road?

He was waiting for a car.

What's a depressed person's favorite drink?

Coff- na, jk, bleach.