Mental Health jokes
What do you call a group of depressed kids?
The suicide squad.
Can some hot depressed suicidal guy give me his number so we can cry about being depressed and wanting to die?
So, there's Fred and Frank. Now, they've been friends for years, but Fred, see, he's depressed. Badly.
Either way, so F+F are texting each other, and here's how it goes: (this is my first joke, so please don't judge too harshly)
Frank: Yo
Fred: Hi...
Frank: U heard about de competition?
Fred: Yeah...
Frank: You wanna hang out?
Fred: .......
Frank: What? I've got some noose (news) for you.
Fred: ...I(
Frank: Fine.... I guess we need to think of a plan, though. We don't wanna be hanging on the end.
Fred: *sigh* You know....you really can't rope me into this competition.
I got a detention because I told an emo kid to "hang in there."
Yeah, I'm made out of DNA.
✨ Depression and anxiety ✨
How to make an orphan BLEED?
Step 1 - Tell them to clap until they actually have a loving family.
Step 2 - LAUGH EVILLY as they BLEED.
Step 3 - Tell them to kys.
Step 4 - Leave that mental asylum.
Why was the depressed man happy in food-tech?
He got to cut himself.
I wish I didn't have depression because all my friends have "BBC Bitch be crazy" disease.
There's two types of emo people:
1. People that cut side to side.
2. And people that cut up and down.
The most efficient is up and down.
Q: Give a man a day of therapy, he'll be sad for then and on.
A: Give a man a noose, he'll be sad for the rest of his life.
Mom: You will make me kill myself.
Me who has cut first: I'll kill myself ✨first✨!
I called the suicide hotline, and he suggested I draw on myself to distract myself.
I replied I'd get ink poisoning.
Wouldn't recommend, the police came.
Preventing suicide is best done by committing it.
Call a group of emo kids Suicide Squad.
I once called a depressed guy [to ask] why he loves ropes so much, and he left HUNGing on the phone. (I'm not English, so I could've talked bad.)
What's a depressed person's favorite drink?
Coff- na, jk, bleach.
I was in a motivational seminar about depression the other day, and she said I could be anything I wanted to be if I put my mind to it. Sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and do it, even if it's messy.
It's always fun to take anti-depressants, you either choose to take one, or the whole bottle.
My mom asked me if I was okay, so I replied, "I will be," and jumped out the window!
when you see a depressed kid, you walk up and say "wassup my lil barcode"