Mental Health jokes
Can some hot depressed suicidal guy give me his number so we can cry about being depressed and wanting to die?
So, there's Fred and Frank. Now, they've been friends for years, but Fred, see, he's depressed. Badly.
Either way, so F+F are texting each other, and here's how it goes: (this is my first joke, so please don't judge too harshly)
Frank: Yo
Fred: Hi...
Frank: U heard about de competition?
Fred: Yeah...
Frank: You wanna hang out?
Fred: .......
Frank: What? I've got some noose (news) for you.
Fred: ...I(
Frank: Fine.... I guess we need to think of a plan, though. We don't wanna be hanging on the end.
Fred: *sigh* You know....you really can't rope me into this competition.
I got a detention because I told an emo kid to "hang in there."
Yeah, I'm made out of DNA.
✨ Depression and anxiety ✨
How to make an orphan BLEED?
Step 1 - Tell them to clap until they actually have a loving family.
Step 2 - LAUGH EVILLY as they BLEED.
Step 3 - Tell them to kys.
Step 4 - Leave that mental asylum.
Why was the depressed man happy in food-tech?
He got to cut himself.
I wish I didn't have depression because all my friends have "BBC Bitch be crazy" disease.
There's two types of emo people:
1. People that cut side to side.
2. And people that cut up and down.
The most efficient is up and down.
Q: Give a man a day of therapy, he'll be sad for then and on.
A: Give a man a noose, he'll be sad for the rest of his life.
It’s OK if emo kids always hang from the trees, but if we do it, it’s considered against the law.
There are too many suicidal people in this world. I’m going to make sure there is at least one less.
My son came up to me and said, "Dad, I'm depressed."
I pointed to the spare room and said, "Hang in there, son."
what do you call an emo person who's not depressed?
dead.
A guy barges into a psychiatrist’s office and screams, “Doctor! I have suicidal tendencies! What do I do?!”
The doctor calmly answers, “Pay me in advance.”
My ex-boyfriend threatened to kill me because I was suicidal.
I wanted to tell him, "Well, can we get what we both want?" I was already planning on dying anyway.
My friend asked me if I wanted to hang out by the tree later. I said, "Yeah, I was gonna hang there."
What's a depressed person's favorite drink?
Coff- na, jk, bleach.
I once called a depressed guy [to ask] why he loves ropes so much, and he left HUNGing on the phone. (I'm not English, so I could've talked bad.)
Call a group of emo kids Suicide Squad.
I called the suicide hotline, and he suggested I draw on myself to distract myself.
I replied I'd get ink poisoning.
Wouldn't recommend, the police came.