Mental Health jokes
What's the difference between a maze and a depressed life? One of them you can find a way out of.
Emos are so predictable: sleep, eat, cut, repeat.
Everything disappears in the Bermuda Triangle.
Except my depression.
What is the worst motivational thing to say to a depressed person?
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.
You can understand depression if you are still in school and get bullied by bullies, punished by teachers, and scolded by parents for being that quiet kid who says nothing.
What's a depressed kid's least favorite game?
Cut the rope.
What do you call a high school student?
Alone and depressed.
Dark jokes are like a new day. Suicidal people don't get it.
Like if depressed.
What does PEMDAS stand for?
Please End My Depression And Suffering.
You wanna hear a suicide joke? Nvm, it didn't make it.
I got them red Gucci bracelets.
Guys, I promise I’m not suicidal, I just like dark things.
*proceeds to walk around the house with headphones in and stare at the ceiling while laying down on the couch*
Me: Mom, I'm tired.
Mom: "Then go to sleep."
Me: No, you don't understand-
What makes sad people jump? Bridges.
My friend was feeling low today, so I went up to her and said, "You know, I would hang in there if I was you, swaying through life." I don't think she likes me now.
Today a child asked if I was an angel. I asked why, and he said, "Mommy says that angels have marks on their wrists because they don't want to be in this world."
Why do emos cut their arms? Because they can't cut the rope.
Dave got a new job at the suicide hotline.
The manager shows him to his desk and Dave has a seat.
The manager says, "Remember! Your job is to make sure that the person at the other end of the line does not kill himself, no matter what! That's the one thing you have to do!"
Dave says "No problem! I will do exactly what you just told me!" and the manager leaves him to his job.
A few minutes, later Dave's phone rings.
"Hello?" Dave answers. No response for a few seconds, then a voice appears.
"My wife cheated on me," a man says. The man on the other end of the line is clearly depressed.
"I'm sorry to hear that," Dave says.
"I found out that she's been doing it for months; she says I don't treat her well enough. She's filing for divorce and threatening to take the kids from me. I don't know what to do. I just took up drinking and gambling, the pain goes away at first but it always comes back. I don't think I can even afford to see a psychiatrist; money is tight as it always is. I wish I could manage my finances better... I just don't see any way out. I think the only thing I can do that makes sense is to just kill myself."
Dave pauses for a moment, thinks, and then he asks:
"Wouldn't it make more sense to kill her?"
I made a video game about a depressed, self-harming goth.
It's mostly unskippable cutscenes though... :/