Mental Health jokes

So, there's Fred and Frank. Now, they've been friends for years, but Fred, see, he's depressed. Badly.

Either way, so F+F are texting each other, and here's how it goes: (this is my first joke, so please don't judge too harshly)

Frank: Yo

Fred: Hi...

Frank: U heard about de competition?

Fred: Yeah...

Frank: You wanna hang out?

Fred: .......

Frank: What? I've got some noose (news) for you.

Fred: ...I(

Frank: Fine.... I guess we need to think of a plan, though. We don't wanna be hanging on the end.

Fred: *sigh* You know....you really can't rope me into this competition.

Yeah, I'm made out of DNA.

✨ Depression and anxiety ✨

I got a detention because I told an emo kid to "hang in there."

How to make an orphan BLEED?

Step 1 - Tell them to clap until they actually have a loving family.

Step 2 - LAUGH EVILLY as they BLEED.

Step 3 - Tell them to kys.

Step 4 - Leave that mental asylum.

Why was the depressed man happy in food-tech?

He got to cut himself.

I wish I didn't have depression because all my friends have "BBC Bitch be crazy" disease.

Q: Give a man a day of therapy, he'll be sad for then and on.

A: Give a man a noose, he'll be sad for the rest of his life.

My ex-boyfriend threatened to kill me because I was suicidal.

I wanted to tell him, "Well, can we get what we both want?" I was already planning on dying anyway.

It’s OK if emo kids always hang from the trees, but if we do it, it’s considered against the law.

A guy barges into a psychiatrist’s office and screams, “Doctor! I have suicidal tendencies! What do I do?!”

The doctor calmly answers, “Pay me in advance.”

My friend asked me if I wanted to hang out by the tree later. I said, "Yeah, I was gonna hang there."

Why did the emo kid not cross the road?

He was waiting for a car.

I once called a depressed guy [to ask] why he loves ropes so much, and he left HUNGing on the phone. (I'm not English, so I could've talked bad.)

What's a depressed person's favorite drink?

Coff- na, jk, bleach.

One depressed kid goes to high-five a tree, but the tree just left him hanging.

I was in a motivational seminar about depression the other day, and she said I could be anything I wanted to be if I put my mind to it. Sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and do it, even if it's messy.

Call a group of emo kids Suicide Squad.

Preventing suicide is best done by committing it.

Mom: You will make me kill myself.

Me who has cut first: I'll kill myself ✨first✨!

I called the suicide hotline, and he suggested I draw on myself to distract myself.

I replied I'd get ink poisoning.

Wouldn't recommend, the police came.