Mental Health jokes

Business Interview With Depression Inside my brain...

Me: So... You're new? Depression: (I don't know who he is yet) mHMMMmmm! Me: Well what are your skills? Depression: Oh, taking control and leading... You know... Me: What are you trying out for? Depression: Oh, Vice Leader of Negative Thoughts. Me: Well we do need someone over there- for somewhat reason nobody wanted that job... Me: How did you know about us? Depression: Oh- I knew because of Anxiety, you know, we're friends! Me: Interesting... (Still has no idea about Anxiety and it's problemos) Me: Well I think you're signed up! I'll give you the job! Depression: tHaNKS :)

AND THATS HOW MY LIFE GOT DESTROYED :]

Symptoms of Schizophrenia.

The symptoms of this condition are fairly easy to recognize because they stand out so distinctly from a person’s usual behavior. In order for a diagnosis to be made, the person must suffer from two or more of the following for at least one month:

Delusions

Hallucinations

Everyone laughs when a bully teases someone, but no one laughs when that person commits suicide.

Knock knock. Who's there? Crippling depression. Crippling depression who? Me.

I want to die hahahahhaha.

Why do emo people want to be called scene now? The only thing I've seen from them is their suicide rate climbing.

Everything disappears in the Bermuda Triangle.

Except my depression.

I'm like a broken refrigerator, cool but broken inside.

Why can't depressed people leave the maze?

Because their lives are the walls and they are too scared to meet the exit.

What's the difference between a maze and a depressed life? One of them you can find a way out of.

I'm made with depression and extra anxiety, then a side of gay and a sprinkle of emo.

What do Logan Paul, KSI, and the Japanese suicide victim have in common?

Tying.

My neck, my back, my crippling anxiety attacks.

Why is James depressed?........ because he's a bitch.

Suicidal people are a big contributor to the rope making industry.

What did everyone say about the crazy unemployed homeless man?

He made no cents.

Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Seven’s been worried about six even since he left Afghanistan. Every time 6 closes his eyes, he sees the war and hears the gunshots. He sees the blood, the killing, the death, and soldiers falling. When he looks at seven, he remembers when they were forced to eat their own flesh to not starve in those caves. He sees the war and the flashbacks will come back forever, burned into his soul and mind.

I wish I didn't have depression because all my friends have "BBC Bitch be crazy" disease.

There's two types of emo people:

1. People that cut side to side.

2. And people that cut up and down.

The most efficient is up and down.

What do you call a depressed emo? Dead.