Mental Health jokes
To all of you who can't understand using jokes as a coping mechanism... you know what I will ask of you :)
Q: Give a man a day of therapy, he'll be sad for then and on.
A: Give a man a noose, he'll be sad for the rest of his life.
Not all self-harmers are emo, but all emos self-harm.
Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
I have schizophrenia,
And so do I.
If I were an object in this world, I'd be a glass! Because if you leave me when I'm too close to the edge, I will likely shatter and break.
If I was a pizza topping, I would be pineapple! Because everybody doubts me.
I'm a star! Because one of these days, I'm going to crash and burn...
If I could choose what creature I come back as after I die, I'd be a panda, because people would give a shit if I went extinct.
I'm like the sun; I'm painful to look at.
If I was a food, I would be chopped liver because nobody likes me.
I'm like an eggshell... broken and empty.
If I was a mythical creature, I'd be a unicorn! Because nobody believes in me.
I'm like a flashlight with old batteries inside because my inner light died a long time ago.
My soul is a raisin because it's dried up, shriveled, and not everyone likes it.
I'm like the moon because you only get to see one side of me.
I'm like the moon because as the month progresses, my life becomes covered more and more by darkness.
I'm like an extremely powerful fan! Because I push everyone away.
I'm like a disposable camera! People use me once and then just throw me away.
I'm like a shitty book cover... because people think they have the right to judge and label me before they read my pages.
My brain and body is essentially a really old married couple that can't afford to go through with the divorce, and now they are stuck in a toxic relationship they are desperate to escape, but the more they try, the more they sink into the quicksand that is my depression and anxiety.
Help me....
These jokes cheered me up from suicide. This is amazing material. God bless all of you.
A knife is like hallucinations, both in your head.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Depression medicine and therapy.
GO AWAY!
To the guy asking what joy I find in suicide jokes, the answer is simple. I make suicide jokes to cope with my crippling depression. Must be working, cause I'm still here.
There's nothing more depressing than a failed suicide attempt.
What do you call an obese man with bipolar? Twins.
My memes are ironic, but my depression is chronic.
When the emo kid hangs himself and the autistic kid thinks that it's a piñata... BATTER UP TO THE PLATE!
What mental illness do terrorists suffer from?
Intermittent Explosive Disorder (IED).
A guy goes to see his psychiatrist dressed only in bubble wrap. When he gets there, he asked the psych, "Can you please help me?"
The psych says, "No, I'm sorry, I can clearly see your nuts."
Last week I told my psychiatrist, "I keep thinking about suicide," and he told me from now on I have to pay in advance.
What's the difference between depression and a girl?
XXXTentacion can't seem to beat depression.
How does a crazy person get to the woods?
He takes the psychopath.
Teacher: Kids, what are some things you have that make you happy? Kid 1: I have my family to make me happy. Kid 2: I have my friends to make me happy. Teacher: What about you, Sean? Sean: I have to take pills to make me happy...
My mental health.