A man went to a library and asked the librarian if they had any books on suicide.
She replied "Oh fuck off, you won't bring it back!"
Mental Health Jokes
Q: I wish my grass was emo.
A: Then it would cut itself.
Depression, I got it.
A girlfriend, don't got it.
A life, don't got it.
Help, got it.
Friends, don't got it.
Family, I got it.
Best of all, depression, I got it!!!!!!
Sam is a kindergartener. One day, Sam’s teacher told him to learn the first few letters of the alphabet. Later that night, Sam asked his moody sister what the first letter of the alphabet was, and she replied with “Oh, what’s the point. Life is meaningless...”.
Sam then went up to his room and found his brother crying on the floor. Sam asked him what the next letter was. “I hate you!” said Sam’s brother, so Sam left the room. Sam went to his mom and asked her what the third letter was. “You stupid f*****,” his mom yelled at him. So Sam went to ask his Grandpa what the fourth letter is, and his grandpa didn’t reply, so Sam went to bed.
The next day, Sam’s teacher called on him to tell the class what the first letter is, and he answered with “Oh, what’s the point. Life is meaningless...” and the teacher sent him to the school counselor. As he left the room, he yelled at his teacher “I hate you!”
As Sam arrived at the counselor’s office, she said she had called his parents and they wanted him to be safe and locked up in a padded cell. “You stupid f*****,” Sam screamed as he heard the ambulance sirens getting nearer. As the ambulance drove away, Sam, in his straight jacket, was silent.
Business Interview With Depression Inside my brain...
Me: So... You're new? Depression: (I don't know who he is yet) mHMMMmmm! Me: Well what are your skills? Depression: Oh, taking control and leading... You know... Me: What are you trying out for? Depression: Oh, Vice Leader of Negative Thoughts. Me: Well we do need someone over there- for somewhat reason nobody wanted that job... Me: How did you know about us? Depression: Oh- I knew because of Anxiety, you know, we're friends! Me: Interesting... (Still has no idea about Anxiety and it's problemos) Me: Well I think you're signed up! I'll give you the job! Depression: tHaNKS :)
AND THATS HOW MY LIFE GOT DESTROYED :]
Symptoms of Schizophrenia.
The symptoms of this condition are fairly easy to recognize because they stand out so distinctly from a person’s usual behavior. In order for a diagnosis to be made, the person must suffer from two or more of the following for at least one month:
Delusions
Hallucinations
Everyone laughs when a bully teases someone, but no one laughs when that person commits suicide.
Knock knock. Who's there? Crippling depression. Crippling depression who? Me.
I want to die hahahahhaha.
Why do emo people want to be called scene now? The only thing I've seen from them is their suicide rate climbing.
Everything disappears in the Bermuda Triangle.
Except my depression.
I'm like a broken refrigerator, cool but broken inside.
Why can't depressed people leave the maze?
Because their lives are the walls and they are too scared to meet the exit.
What's the difference between a maze and a depressed life? One of them you can find a way out of.
I'm made with depression and extra anxiety, then a side of gay and a sprinkle of emo.
What do Logan Paul, KSI, and the Japanese suicide victim have in common?
Tying.
My neck, my back, my crippling anxiety attacks.
Why is James depressed?........ because he's a bitch.
Suicidal people are a big contributor to the rope making industry.
What did everyone say about the crazy unemployed homeless man?
He made no cents.
