Mental Health jokes
When you realize you have depression, and depression realizes how stupid you were.
When you're walking through the garden section at Walmart and you hear your grandpa screaming, "They're in the fucking trees!"
Is depression an emotion or a state of mind? I call it a lifestyle.
What do you get when you mix up a group of emos?
Suicide squad.
Even a psychopath is sympathetic when an onion self-harms!
I have no friends, but then I realize my true friends are anxiety and depression.
I got a lot running through my head right now. I wish at least one was a 12-gauge round.
Knock knock. Who's there? Depression. That's my best friend.
You must be depression, because you make me want to kill myself ;)
People sometimes ask me why I cut myself. I usually answer that at least I can scan my worth at the supermarket.
There are so many things going through my head. Sadly, none of it is a 9mm.
How do you start a dance party?
Go into the PTSD ward of an insane asylum and set off fireworks and watch the magic unfold.
What is the difference between an emo and a normal person?
An emo slits.
Depression is like having anxiety, but with more voices.
If I were a party, then anxiety must be the cousin depression felt obligated to bring to the party, and insomnia the little annoying sibling.
Claustrophobic people are more productive thinking out of the box.
A man went to a library and asked the librarian if they had any books on suicide.
She replied "Oh fuck off, you won't bring it back!"
Q: I wish my grass was emo.
A: Then it would cut itself.
Depression, I got it.
A girlfriend, don't got it.
A life, don't got it.
Help, got it.
Friends, don't got it.
Family, I got it.
Best of all, depression, I got it!!!!!!
Sam is a kindergartener. One day, Sam’s teacher told him to learn the first few letters of the alphabet. Later that night, Sam asked his moody sister what the first letter of the alphabet was, and she replied with “Oh, what’s the point. Life is meaningless...”.
Sam then went up to his room and found his brother crying on the floor. Sam asked him what the next letter was. “I hate you!” said Sam’s brother, so Sam left the room. Sam went to his mom and asked her what the third letter was. “You stupid f*****,” his mom yelled at him. So Sam went to ask his Grandpa what the fourth letter is, and his grandpa didn’t reply, so Sam went to bed.
The next day, Sam’s teacher called on him to tell the class what the first letter is, and he answered with “Oh, what’s the point. Life is meaningless...” and the teacher sent him to the school counselor. As he left the room, he yelled at his teacher “I hate you!”
As Sam arrived at the counselor’s office, she said she had called his parents and they wanted him to be safe and locked up in a padded cell. “You stupid f*****,” Sam screamed as he heard the ambulance sirens getting nearer. As the ambulance drove away, Sam, in his straight jacket, was silent.