Mental Health jokes
How many innocent succulents have been brutally killed by people trying to cure their depression?
Me: I have depression.
Someone: You should get out more! Go outside!
Me: *goes to the beach* Now it's a tropical depression.
Me: "WYD?"
Her: "Just dealing with a lot: depression, anxiety, and the feeling that I'll never be enough."
Me: "Without me? Lol"
After standing in line staring at McDonald's menu for 17 minutes,
Me: "Okay, I'm ready. Can you help me not be sad all the time?"
Therapy - Expensive - Years of hard work - Emotionally draining - Tough to find
Screaming in the woods - Free - Immediate relief - Scares hunters enough to leave, therefore saving innocent animals - Potential to make friends with people who are also screaming in the woods.
What is an emo's favorite movie?
The Suicide Squad.
How to tell if you're depressed? You came to a website called "worst jokes ever.com" looking for a quick smile.
I was in a motivational seminar about depression the other day, and she said I could be anything I wanted to be if I put my mind to it. Sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and do it, even if it's messy.
If you're here for a cheap laugh about suicide, I'll give you some real killer jokes!
Depressed procrastinators feel like they wanna kill themselves sometime soon.
All these suicide jokes are f***ing killing me.
What's the depressed person's favorite song?
Van Halen - Jump
Nike isn't helpful for suicidal people. You can't tell them to "Just Do It."
The suicide hotline didn't even give me advice on how to kill myself. Not helpful at all.
How do you tell if someone is depressed?
The brains on the wall.
What did one emo kid say to the other? "Nice cuts, G!" (because they like to cut themselves).
This isn't a joke, but I'm a survivor and use humor to cope. I find these extremely funny, so please leave the people writing these alone 😭
Happiness belonged to you, then gave you depression.
Which way is quicker to die? Noose or slitting my throat?
What do you call a group of depressed people? The Suicide Squad.