Men Jokes

Did you ever received a anonymous blowjob from another male under the handicapped stall inside the public men's restroom at a rest area and did you have a orgasm and was it the best orgasm that you ever had?

There were these three men, their names were Shit, Shut up, and Manners. One day they were riding in their car and Shit fell out so Manners went out to pick shit up and shut up went to the police station. when he got there the police officer said "What's your name son?" and Shut up said "Shut up." the officer replies with "Ummm...excuse me?!" and shut up said "Shut up!" and the officer said "Boy, where are your manners?" and Shut up said "Round the corner picking up Shit!"

Three Nuns died in a car crash, they went up to heaven at the pearly gates the gate keeper said this really should not have happened so I am going to send you back to earth as different people so tell me who you want to be or look like the first nun said I want to look like Madonna puff,,you look like her now and but you can’t use her name And sent her down to earth. The second one said I want to look like Marilyn Monroe he then makes her look like her and sends her down to earth. The third nun I said I want to look like Sarah Pipalini. The gate keeper says to her, Sarah Pipalini who is that? she gives the gate keeper a newspaper article he reads it shakes his head no and says it’s not Sarah Pipalini it Sahara pipeline laid by 500 men.

Why do gay men like the filling in hostess twinkies? it reminds them of cum 😋 😍 😏 😜

😳 🤔 ☎️ ☎️ ☎️ What do you call 📞 📞 📞 a gay man that is not physically handicapped that performs blowjobs on gay men 👬 👨 👨that are physically handicapped? caregiver 💘 💘 💘 💘 💘 ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺

I like my men how I like my coffee...

WITHOUT A FUCKING VAGINA!

I walked into a room full of men masturbating. -- They all looked shocked when I didn't stop.

Why do Roman Catholics always call their minister father? because Roman Catholic men between 18 - 29 years old received a free anonymous blowjob inside the confessional booth at the glory hole

Part 1: two men were walking down the way when the third one came Part 2:two men were walking down the way when the third one came Part 3: two men were walking down the way when the third one came Part 4: guess what.... two men were walking down the way when the second one fell in the sewers and died.... the first one was lonely

Women are like IPhones, you have to touch them all over before they respond. Men are like Blackberrys, rub one ball and everything moves!

Why are feminists jealous of men? because men don't have to stand up to piss

Why are feminists always against men? because men can piss with something that they can't piss with dicks

If a woman gets raped, just walk away, don't bother. Cheer on the rapist if you want.

They believe they are equal to men right? So they are able to fight back right? Then prove it! My EQUALITEHHHHHHHH

An old man takes his grandson fishing in a local pond one day.

After 20 minutes of fishing, the old man fires up a cigar. The young boy asks, "Grandpa, can I have a cigar?" The old man asks, "Son, can your d*ck touch your asshole?" The young boy says no. "Then u can't have a cigar." Another 20 minutes passes, and the old man opens a beer. The young boy asks, "Grandpa, can I have a beer?" The old man asks, "Son, can your d*ck touch your asshole?" The young boy says no. "Well, then u can't have a beer."

Another 20 minutes passes and the young boy opens a bag of potato chips.

The old man asks, "Son, can I have some of your chips?" The boy asks, "Well, Grandpa, can your d*ck touch your asshole?" The old man says, "It sure can." The boy says, "Well good, then go f*ck yourself, these are my chips."

There were three men in a car, the driver, a homeless man, and a rapper. The driver takes the to the woods and says, "I'm not really a cab driver, I'm a wanted killer". The homeless man says"I'm not really homeless" and pulls out a chain. The rapper says, "If we're gonna be completely honest, I'm not a rapper, i'm a cop''

Feminists think men hate them. MEN HATE FEMINIST KARENS. We already have equal rights. It wasn't always like that, but that was in the past. So fuck feminists.

(Like if you hate feminists.)

Three men are on a bench in Soviet Russia talking shit about Stalin. One of the men all of a sudden pulls out a kgb badge and says “you two are coming with me for treason.” One of the other men also pulls out a badge and says “Not me.” The third man pulls out a badge and says “Wow? There’s a lot of agents here.”

Why do feminists believe that they can act like a bitch towards men if they want to because they were born without a penis

Two men are in a rainforest and one of them is peeing. Suddenly a snake jumps out of some bushes and bites the man’s penis. The other man says, “ Oh my God, I will go to a doctor immediately!”. He didn’t have enough time to load the man into the car so he went straight to the hospital. The man told the doctor what happened and the doctor said, “You will have to make an incision at the wound and suck the poison out. The man wen back to the other man and said, “ There is no hope, you will die.”