Men jokes

I love big hot sexy men.

My mom told me that she got a new job & I don't have to leave the house.

Then my mom told all my customers are the men that live in our neighborhood.

Then I ask what is your job call. My mom said job hand, then I said job and or is hand job.

My mom said yeah that it. My mom said I'm good at my job that why all the males are always knocking at the door.

Men should provide their disobedient daughters with their own "milk" instead of letting them use the mother. That will teach those bitches some respect for men. It may even help them get laid later on in life.

Three nuns died in a car crash. They went up to heaven at the pearly gates. The gatekeeper said, "This really should not have happened, so I am going to send you back to earth as different people. Tell me who you want to be or look like." The first nun said, "I want to look like Madonna." Puff, you look like her now, but you can’t use her name. And sent her down to earth. The second one said, "I want to look like Marilyn Monroe." He then makes her look like her and sends her down to earth. The third nun said, "I want to look like Sarah Pipalini." The gatekeeper says to her, "Sarah Pipalini, who is that?" She gives the gatekeeper a newspaper article. He reads it, shakes his head no, and says, "It’s not Sarah Pipalini, it's Sahara pipeline laid by 500 men."

How do men like their women? Striped.

How does a priest like their children? Clean.

Why are most orphans strippers? They want to call someone mommy or daddy.

What is the difference between a stripper and candy? None. But they like it when you take the wrapper off.

What’s a cannibal's favorite food? Ramen (Ra-Men).

There were four men eating dinner on the Titanic when it hit the iceberg.

The waiter said, "We have to get to the lifeboats!"

The teacher said, "What about the kids?"

The lawyer said, "Fuck the kids."

The priest said, "Do you think we'll have time?"

What do Japanese men do when they vote?

They have an erection.

Two bald dudes were pulling each other's hair.

NSFW Why can't women ever tell men where the clitoris is?

'Cause it's a place to eat.

Surveys show that 80% of women who wear yoga pants never do yoga.

And 100% of men don’t care.

How do you stop all homophobic heterosexual white men from using all public men's restrooms at a rest area?

Make sure that all public men's restrooms at the rest area are always occupied with gay men that have long and thick big cocks, regardless of skin color.

I saw two blind men fighting at the mall. I yelled, "He has a gun!" They both ran.

Why do gay men hate periods?

They prefer Collins.

Why did God create women before men?

He didn’t want any advice on how to do it.

Two men walk into a bar, no clue how they didn't see it.

Yo mama so fat, she thought "RAW MEN" was "RAMEN."

*Riddle:* All men have one, some got long, some got small. The Pope never uses his, and a man gives it to his wife after getting married. What is it?

Did you ever see any white men drowning in the Atlantic Ocean?

Yeah, it went on and on.

Woman: A woman’s life is harder, there is menstruation, periods, birth...

Man: Men have to deal with women.