Men jokes
Three nuns died in a car crash. They went up to heaven at the pearly gates. The gatekeeper said, "This really should not have happened, so I am going to send you back to earth as different people. Tell me who you want to be or look like." The first nun said, "I want to look like Madonna." Puff, you look like her now, but you can’t use her name. And sent her down to earth. The second one said, "I want to look like Marilyn Monroe." He then makes her look like her and sends her down to earth. The third nun said, "I want to look like Sarah Pipalini." The gatekeeper says to her, "Sarah Pipalini, who is that?" She gives the gatekeeper a newspaper article. He reads it, shakes his head no, and says, "It’s not Sarah Pipalini, it's Sahara pipeline laid by 500 men."
How do men like their women? Striped.
How does a priest like their children? Clean.
Why are most orphans strippers? They want to call someone mommy or daddy.
What is the difference between a stripper and candy? None. But they like it when you take the wrapper off.
Medusa makes men hard.
What’s a cannibal's favorite food? Ramen (Ra-Men).
Two bald dudes were pulling each other's hair.
Memes
What do Japanese men do when they vote?
They have an erection.
I saw two blind men fighting at the mall. I yelled, "He has a gun!" They both ran.
How do you stop all homophobic heterosexual white men from using all public men's restrooms at a rest area?
Make sure that all public men's restrooms at the rest area are always occupied with gay men that have long and thick big cocks, regardless of skin color.
NSFW Why can't women ever tell men where the clitoris is?
'Cause it's a place to eat.
Surveys show that 80% of women who wear yoga pants never do yoga.
And 100% of men don’t care.
Two men walk into a bar, no clue how they didn't see it.
Woman: A woman’s life is harder, there is menstruation, periods, birth...
Man: Men have to deal with women.
*Riddle:* All men have one, some got long, some got small. The Pope never uses his, and a man gives it to his wife after getting married. What is it?
Yo mama so fat, she thought "RAW MEN" was "RAMEN."
Why do gay men hate periods?
They prefer Collins.
Why did God create women before men?
He didn’t want any advice on how to do it.
Did you ever see any white men drowning in the Atlantic Ocean?
Yeah, it went on and on.
What's a cannibal's favorite snack?
Men toes! 😂🤣
DARK ALERT********
A girl went to the doctor. The doctor said she had one year to live. She shot the doctor, and the judge gave her 15 years.
DARK ALERT********
Bro, I saw two dudes kissing LOL, but not regular kissing.