Men jokes

Men built civilisations. Men went to the moon. Men invented the modern comforts of today’s society.

Women did none of those. They are useless, only fit to be baby making machines.

My mom told me that she got a new job & I don't have to leave the house.

Then my mom told all my customers are the men that live in our neighborhood.

Then I ask what is your job call. My mom said job hand, then I said job and or is hand job.

My mom said yeah that it. My mom said I'm good at my job that why all the males are always knocking at the door.

Men should provide their disobedient daughters with their own "milk" instead of letting them use the mother. That will teach those bitches some respect for men. It may even help them get laid later on in life.

Three nuns died in a car crash. They went up to heaven at the pearly gates. The gatekeeper said, "This really should not have happened, so I am going to send you back to earth as different people. Tell me who you want to be or look like." The first nun said, "I want to look like Madonna." Puff, you look like her now, but you can’t use her name. And sent her down to earth. The second one said, "I want to look like Marilyn Monroe." He then makes her look like her and sends her down to earth. The third nun said, "I want to look like Sarah Pipalini." The gatekeeper says to her, "Sarah Pipalini, who is that?" She gives the gatekeeper a newspaper article. He reads it, shakes his head no, and says, "It’s not Sarah Pipalini, it's Sahara pipeline laid by 500 men."

How do men like their women? Striped.

How does a priest like their children? Clean.

Why are most orphans strippers? They want to call someone mommy or daddy.

What is the difference between a stripper and candy? None. But they like it when you take the wrapper off.

There were four men eating dinner on the Titanic when it hit the iceberg.

The waiter said, "We have to get to the lifeboats!"

The teacher said, "What about the kids?"

The lawyer said, "Fuck the kids."

The priest said, "Do you think we'll have time?"

What’s a cannibal's favorite food? Ramen (Ra-Men).

What do Japanese men do when they vote?

They have an erection.

Two bald dudes were pulling each other's hair.

A few men have curved penises, but they can fix that problem by straightening it out.

What did Jeffrey Dahmer say to the men he took home that said they were hungry? "I've got Ben and Jerry's in the freezer."

What's a cannibal's favorite snack?

Men toes! 😂🤣

DARK ALERT********

A girl went to the doctor. The doctor said she had one year to live. She shot the doctor, and the judge gave her 15 years.

DARK ALERT********

Bro, I saw two dudes kissing LOL, but not regular kissing.

Q: What are women better than men at doing?

A: Winning arguments.

Q: What are men better than women at doing?

A: Winning swimming titles.

Two men walk into a bar, no clue how they didn't see it.

I saw two blind men fighting at the mall. I yelled, "He has a gun!" They both ran.

NSFW Why can't women ever tell men where the clitoris is?

'Cause it's a place to eat.

How do you stop all homophobic heterosexual white men from using all public men's restrooms at a rest area?

Make sure that all public men's restrooms at the rest area are always occupied with gay men that have long and thick big cocks, regardless of skin color.

*Riddle:* All men have one, some got long, some got small. The Pope never uses his, and a man gives it to his wife after getting married. What is it?