Men Jokes

Two gay men walk into a bar, one of them turned to the other and said, hey, what do you say we get out of here?

Why do only guys have fun? There's only the word 'penis' in happiness

The Man: "Sonny why do you come to get some milk every day?" The Son: "Because , milk is important." The Man: "Why don't you ever come with your mom?" The Boy: "Who?" The Man: "Your mom?" The Boy: "I don't have a mom." The Man: "I'm sorry for your loss." The boy stared for a moment when two men came out of the vehicle and picked up the boy .

Three men met on a nude beach. Two of the three men were happy, but the third was sad. The three men broke into a conversation. The topic eventually reached the men's jobs, and why they were at the beach.

"I'm a construction worker," said the first man. "All year long I toil in the sun in very heavy clothes, so this seemed like the perfect vacation for me. If I can relax and do it naked, that's a win-win."

"I'm an accountant," said the second man. "I just like how everyone here is dressed exactly the same."

The first two men turned to the third, sad man. "What do you do?" they asked.

"I'm a pickpocket," said the third man. "My doctor sent me here.

Two kids are out in the cold, with downpours of snow erupting from the clouds. One of the kids says something. Can we build a snowman that is going through puberty? The other kid says something else. Yes. It sounds cool. After a while, the snowman was finished, and some words jut out of the first kid's mouth: Wow! Look at that snowman! It's got hair all over. But I think it's missing something though. The other kid jumps a little and begins speaking. Oh, I know what it is! After a while, a body part made of a carrot and two cucumbers appears on the snowman's crotch. It is a penis and a ballsack. The first kid speaks. Icy what you did there. The other kid replies. Good thing I didn't slip up there. The first kid replies. Well, that's snow problem. The other kid then uttered this: These puns would make the most frigid individual crack-up. The first kid then says: I know, right? They then begin a snowball fight. The other kid then says: Only the men have snowballs!

Trump and two of his friends are stranded on an island with no internet connection and no way of getting home. As they frantically run around the island trying to get a signal so Trump can call his private helicopter to come and pick them up, Trump’s wig falls off and lands on a magical lamp, from which suddenly appears a genie. As Trump replaces his wig, the genie announces that he will grant each man one wish for freeing him. The men stop to confer. The first one says he will wish for a plane to rescue him, the second wishes for a boat to rescue him and they tell Trump to wish for a helicopter to rescue him. Trump, being Trump, nods and says yes but he wasn’t really listening. Then they approach the genie. The first one of Trump’s friends wishes for a plane to rescue him, as agreed. The second one of Trump’s friends wishes for a boat to rescue him, as agreed. Then Trump is left all alone, but instead of wishing for a helicopter to rescue him, as agreed, he says, “Aww, I’m lonely now. I wish both my friends were here with me!”

women will always be superior to men. after all, they are FEmale. (fe- iron. male-man.)

2 Chinese men walk into to a bar. Owwwwwwwwwww they say instead of ouch

boys eat frito bandito, but men eat guido bandito

WOULD YOU RATHER: Have a menstrual period with horrible cramps for 200 days straight (Including men)? Or Eat 10 lbs of dog s**t everyday for 100 days?

Hi my name is unknown guy! Please join my group for the picture I show you, we will do this every week! Thanks leave a comment or sign in using the sign in sheet that I have in google forms or own the website. Hint: Pictures of woman. btw for men only!

Whats the difference btwn football and rape? Women don't like football.

Q: What do men and math tests have in common?

A: They get cheated on

It's raining men! Hallelujah!

3 men go to hell, Satan says if you can question me and I can't answer you go to heaven. The first man asks if Satan knew how to make computers he goes to hell, the next man asks if he knew how to make furniture he goes too, the third man poke a ton of holes in a bottle cap and farts in the bottle asks Satan where the fart came from. Satan said every possible answer and the man pointed to his butthole and said " nope this one "😂

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

I like my coffee like my men, long and black

A: guess what kind of men/women do gold diggers like? Q: one that has a sense of money

Two men are next to each other. one looks at the other "are you a fascist". The other man responds "no why would i be" The first man pulls out a gun "are you sure." The second man says "never mind a fascist"