Men jokes

Why do men midgets laugh when they run?

Because their balls get tickled by the grass.

Hiiiiiiiii, I said, Man, want candy? Me, YESSSSSS! Me, gets kidnaped.

All of the sudden, if you're Republican, you're racist, and Communism is a symbol of freedom? What happened to the proud men our founding fathers were, damn it!

Why do Catholic priests make the best cocksuckers for gay and bisexual men that are members of the Catholic Church?

Because there are glory holes inside of the confessional booths.

Why did the Italian American Roman Catholic priest perform fellatio on gay men at the glory hole inside the adult bookstore?

Someone asked him what would he do for a Klondike Bar?

If I had a dollar for every gender, I would only have one dollar because women are objects and men are superior.

What do lovely men and tampons have in common?

Both lick up the juices of the women they were made for.

I woke up one night to a strange noise, and when I went to investigate what it was, I found out that it was coming from my parents' room.

I looked inside and counted, ok one, two, three finger men and my mom, so nothing out of the ordinary, so then I checked my sister's room, and I counted 4 other women in the room, but then I realized that the sound was coming from right in front of me. It was my dad giving me a BJ the whole time.

There are three people on an island. One dies, and the second guy goes to bury them. He comes back with deer meat. The first guy eats it, but the second guy refuses the meal.

When the men return to the mainland, they part ways. The first man goes to eat the deer again at a local restaurant. He takes one bite, then jumps off a bridge.

In heaven, an angel asks him why.

“Well you see,” he answered, “that man was a tribal cannibal. Delicious in my wife’s meat, though.”

Why do gay men and lesbians believe that bisexual men don't exist because there is no such thing as male bisexuality?

Because it doesn't cycle 🚲.

The difference between women and beer is that beer makes you happy for nothing, why women make you angry for nothing.

Gays: I like men.

Straight: I like women.

Bisexual: A hole is a hole.

What do Gay Men and Minorities have in common?

My dad hates them both!

Which way do gay men walk?

One Direction.

What is it that gay men can't get from having too much oral sex?

Erectile dysfunction.

You're so bald, the Hair Club for Men has elected you president.

What is the difference between Madeleine McCann and a submarine?

They are both full of seamen and are at the bottom of the ocean.

I told my therapist you are too fat and ugly to date grown men. Then she asked me, "You wanna give a judgemental reaction about that?" I said, "Okay, you smell rat pee on somebody's cock."

Three men walk into a bar. You would think the 3rd one would have ducked! 😅

I think democracy is a scam. I love men and I love you. I love men and I love you. I love my dog. He won't sleep inside and I shitted my pants. I peed my pants. I smell bad. I took a shower and my dog was like, "Oh my god." I was like, "Oh." I was like, "Oh my god," and then I was like, "I shitted again" and he was like, "Bark bark," cause he's a dog. Thanks for listening.