Men

Men jokes

Man

  • Two men are sitting at a coffee table.

    Mike: "I think I might have a drinking problem."

    Joe: "Why do you say that?"

    Mike: "Well, last week I got so drunk I blew chunks."

    Joe: "That's nothing to be ashamed of; we all drink a little too much sometimes."

    Mike: "No, you don't understand. Chunks is my dog's name."

  • 1
  • Water Bottle

  • Water bottles, strong, Standing tall, like sturdy men, Quenching every thirst.

    Clear and transparent, Reflecting strength and resolve, Resilient and pure.

    In hand, they offer Refreshing relief, like hugs, Soothing every soul.

    Water bottles, like men, Nourish and hydrate our lives, Simple yet vital.

  • 1
  • Wife

  • Two drunk men spot a pig on some old farmer's land.

    And they were real hungry (or so they said), and they both decided to take the pig with them into their car and eat it somewhere.

    And so they did, and the farmer came out with a gun while they hurriedly drove off, and the farmer said, "Well goddammit, if it was a pig they wanted, why didn't they just take my wife?"

  • 3
  • Car Door

  • Three men were going for a drive through the desert. An hour later, the car breaks down. They all take something from the car to keep themselves cool as they walk to the nearest gas station a few miles back.

    One guy grabs a hand-held fan. Another guy grabs the jug of water. The last guy takes the car door off. About 15 minutes into walking, the other two are giving the one guy weird looks. Finally, one of them asks why he is taking the car door. The third guy just replies that whenever he gets hot he can just roll down the window.

  • 0
  • Priest

  • Why do Catholic priests make the best cocksuckers for gay and bisexual men that are members of the Catholic Church?

    Because there are glory holes inside of the confessional booths.

  • 1
  • Priest

  • Why did the Italian American Roman Catholic priest perform fellatio on gay men at the glory hole inside the adult bookstore?

    Someone asked him what would he do for a Klondike Bar?

  • 0
  • Guy

  • What do you call a guy in a wheelchair playing soccer?

    Rocket League!

    (Ali A Intro)

    I like men.

    Wanna smash?

    Suck my balls.

    I'm in class as I'm posting this ass joke.

    This joke sucks terribly.

    Honestly just like and leave.

    Add me on discord.

    IceyTrae#2230

    Lebron>MJ

    Communism

  • All of the sudden, if you're Republican, you're racist, and Communism is a symbol of freedom? What happened to the proud men our founding fathers were, damn it!

  • 0
  • Dad

  • I woke up one night to a strange noise, and when I went to investigate what it was, I found out that it was coming from my parents' room.

    I looked inside and counted, ok one, two, three finger men and my mom, so nothing out of the ordinary, so then I checked my sister's room, and I counted 4 other women in the room, but then I realized that the sound was coming from right in front of me. It was my dad giving me a BJ the whole time.

  • 0
  • Cannibal

  • There are three people on an island. One dies, and the second guy goes to bury them. He comes back with deer meat. The first guy eats it, but the second guy refuses the meal.

    When the men return to the mainland, they part ways. The first man goes to eat the deer again at a local restaurant. He takes one bite, then jumps off a bridge.

    In heaven, an angel asks him why.

    “Well you see,” he answered, “that man was a tribal cannibal. Delicious in my wife’s meat, though.”

  • 0
  • Woman

  • The difference between women and beer is that beer makes you happy for nothing, why women make you angry for nothing.

    Black

  • A small, nervous woman steps into a hotel elevator in Las Vegas.

    At the next floor, three large, burly men step in. The woman is immediately intimidated and clutches her purse tightly.

    Suddenly, one of the men says in a deep voice: "Hit the floor!"

    Terrified that she is about to be robbed, the woman drops her bags and collapses face down onto the floor of the elevator, cowering in fear.

    The men burst out laughing and help the bewildered woman up. The speaker apologizes profusely and says: "No, ma'am, I meant hit the button for our floor!"

    The next morning, the woman receives a massive bouquet of roses and has her entire hotel bill paid for. Attached is a note that says: "Thanks for the best laugh I've had in years."

  • 0
  • Therapist

  • I told my therapist you are too fat and ugly to date grown men. Then she asked me, "You wanna give a judgemental reaction about that?" I said, "Okay, you smell rat pee on somebody's cock."