17 year old pregnant Juanita flew all the way to NY from TX to get an abortion. Initially she was denied the procedure because she wasn't COVID boosted, but after she explained the father was religious and wanted to be involved they quickly resolved the threat.
Father awaits the birth of his first child. The obstetrician: "Unfortunately he has no arms". "I'll love it all the same". But the obstetrician adds: "It is also without legs, trunk, head". "I'll love it all the same". Then the obstetrician confessed to him: "I'm sorry, but only this ear was born". "I'll love it all the same". And the obstetrician: "Talk to him closer: he's deaf!".
You here about the roman numeral hospital
All they have is IVs!
If you turn a down syndrome upside down do they have up syndrome now?
Have you heard about the new russian std? Rottsmikokov
a Woman delivers a baby. The doctor takes the baby, and throws it, smashing around the hospital room, drop-kicking it, etc. The mother starts freaking out, being held back by nurses, begging “WHYYYY!!??”. The doctor holds the baby upside down by the ankle and says “I’m just fucking with you, it was born dead”.
A lady sees a doctor about a tummy ache. After her check up, the Doctor said “ Looks like you’ll be needing nappies in about 9 months time.” The lady asks, “Am I pregnant? “. To which the Doctor replied “No, you’ve got bowel cancer.”
My Cat sleeps about 20 hours a day. She has her food prepared for her. She can eat whenever she wants, 24/7/365. Her meals are provided at no cost to her. She visits the Dr. once a year for her checkup, and again during the year if any medical needs arise. For this she pays nothing, and nothing is required of her. She lives in a nice neighborhood in a house that is much larger than she needs, but she is not required to do any upkeep. If she makes a mess, someone else cleans it up. She has her choice of luxurious places to sleep. She receives these accommodations absolutely free. She is living like a queen, and has absolutely no expenses whatsoever. All of her costs are picked up by others who go out and earn a living every day. I was just thinking about all this, and suddenly it hit me like a brick in the head, Holy Sh*t, my Cat is a Democrat!
Have any of you guys heard the classic airplane jokes? here's a good example...
A farmer, a doctor, and a terrorist are on a plane. An engine fails, and they are going to crash, so the pilot asks everyone to throw out some items. The farmer threw out his apple harvest, the doctor threw out medical supplies, and the terrorist, (not needing a bomb apperently) through out his briefcase of bombs. They still crashed, and they started walking to the nearest town. They passed a boy who was running. "why are you running?" "My dad got hit by a shiny red object and now he's bleeding!" They three of them decide it's best to keep quiet, and continue. They then passed a crying girl, who said that her brother had been killed by a scalpel from heaven. They said nothing and continued. Finally, they see a boy laughing so much he is in tears. They ask him, "What's so funny?" "Grandma farted and the house blew up!"
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Guy #1 is being picked up by Guy #2 from the hospital. Guy #1: Oh man, I just got my prostate checked. It's not looking good. Guy #2: Why, what is it? Guy #1: Turns out, I have Prostate Cancer. Guy #2: Oh man that sucks... Guy #1: Yeah, it's a real pain in the ass!
A man once went to a doctor because his leg was turning blue.
The doctor said that his leg had to be amputated as it was getting poisonous.
The man then got plastic prosthetics.
Next day even the prosthetics started turning blue.
After much examination the doctor found that the patients pants were shedding color.
lol I switched out my friends leukemia medication for mercury (Like and comment if you get it)
what is the perfect job for a paedophile
a physical doctor for kids
when you were born your mom said you were out of bounds so you went flying out of the hospital
My grandfather told me I’m too reliant on technology, so I unplugged his life support and called him a hypocrite, I doubt he ever said that to anyone ever again.
lol I keep stealing my dad's medication money and the best part is he never remembers.
One time, I took my wife to the doctors. My wife had a severe migraine, and needed a medic. I waited for about 10 minutes. The doctor walked out with my wife in a wheelchair. "Due to your wife's broken hip, she may never walk again," said the doctor. "She had a migraine," I said. "Oh, we know," said the doctor.
I was dying when i called my sister and she said "Hi this is pepperoni's pizza and abortion clinic your loss our sauce how may i help you today."
Why do doctors use so much lipstick? Because they love cos-medics.
