ME jokes

Miss Kadie, I heard that the Westboro Baptist Church is having a party for kicking out 99999 gay people.

Pastor: Welcome to the gay matters church.

Miss Kadie: Stop that, you know that God hates gay people.

Me: Stop that, vegan teacher.

Pastor: You deserve to die.

- I attack

"Meow, meow, woof, woof." That's what animals say to me when I die.

The Egyptian god of sun's name is Ka.

My friend: Where does the sun god go to get a shoe?

Me: In a Ka-boot sale :D

Friend: What would happen when someone stole the shoe?

Me: Call The Police Ka!!!

herishy, my little sissy dont report me.

What is the difference between me and a retard?

At least I have chromosomes.

John walked into Pat at the barn. He was dancing naked in front of a tractor. John said, "Hey, Pat, what are you doing?"

Pat said, "Well, me and the wife have been having a bit of trouble in bed, so I went to a therapist, and he said I should do something sexy to a tractor (attract her)."

I don’t have another talking stage in me. 🤦🏿‍♂️ Do you squirt, and is your BD dead? 😭

This midget in my school has two moms. I said, "Did your dad go get the milk?" He told me to shut up. I said, "I don’t shut up, I grow up like you should."

My sister said I was only allowed to grate cheese, so I said to her that I’d prove her wrong.

The next day my mum asked me why my cheese was tan, and I said it was my own special recipe. My mum loved the cheese but she didn’t like it much after the funeral.

Person 1: Omg, my blind boyfriend cheated on me.

Person 2: What did you expect? Him to see other hoes...

My friend told me that he saw a yacht went close in to the yeti's eye, so I said to my friend, "Did the yeti kiss?" But my friend said, "No, the yeti have to play games every single day, or the yeti will die."

Can I watch you?

Yes, you can watch me your watch.

No, I mean can I WATCH you?

I don't get it. 😑 *facepalm*.

OOOOOOH YOU MEAN WATCH WITH YOUR EYES! YES!

Akeld: All I want to do is mess with Gwen!

Gwen: LEAVE ME ALONE!

Akeld: NOT EVER!

Guys, please stop making fake accounts of me. It's not funny, and it's disrespectful of you, ok, bitch?

My name is Mr. Cheese, but your jokes are still cheesier than me...

I farted, try me. You farted? Oh no, we all farted.

The plane crashed, but I did too on a pillow.

MISSING!!

MISSING!!

Name: Ghostiano Penaldo

Missing: 27/6/2021 vs Belgium

Characteristics: Disappearing in big games + Diving + always ranting "give me penalty".

Last found - Practicing tap ins.

Possible Locations: Penalty Spot, Parma, Crotone.

Might be dangerous towards good players.

You: I want my mama.

Me: Soz, you can't even get one.

Me: MOM, I'm tired.

Mom: Take a nap.

Me: No, I can't sleep if Dad isn't here.

Mom: *hangs picture of dad on her room wall* Well, now you can.

Bully: Agh, you're ugly!

Me: Said your mom when you were born.