ME jokes
Tell me morbid jokes in comments so I have some jokes for my friend.
"-Hey dude, you got some beef? You want some beef from me?"
"- No thanks... I'm vegetarian!"
What did A say to Y?
"You cannot be alpha like me." :)
Y said, "Why? (Y)"
Add me on Snapchat for streaks: Loganlytton.
You know what's so horrible about this website?
When I mimic another person's account, the picture ALWAYS changes color. No more identity theft for me.
Memes
Roses are red, get on your knees, and bark for me!
What did the grape say to the banana? "Stop graping me!"
Guys, please stop making fake accounts of me. It's not funny, and it's disrespectful of you, ok, bitch?
MISSING!!
MISSING!!
Name: Ghostiano Penaldo
Missing: 27/6/2021 vs Belgium
Characteristics: Disappearing in big games + Diving + always ranting "give me penalty".
Last found - Practicing tap ins.
Possible Locations: Penalty Spot, Parma, Crotone.
Might be dangerous towards good players.
My friend told me that he saw a yacht went close in to the yeti's eye, so I said to my friend, "Did the yeti kiss?" But my friend said, "No, the yeti have to play games every single day, or the yeti will die."
Can I watch you?
Yes, you can watch me your watch.
No, I mean can I WATCH you?
I don't get it. 😑 *facepalm*.
OOOOOOH YOU MEAN WATCH WITH YOUR EYES! YES!
I farted, try me. You farted? Oh no, we all farted.
The plane crashed, but I did too on a pillow.
Akeld: All I want to do is mess with Gwen!
Gwen: LEAVE ME ALONE!
Akeld: NOT EVER!
Fat people: Do I look beautiful when I eat a pack of chicken?
Me: Yes, you look like a bunch of boulders crashing into each other.
Fat: Dang...
Me: Shut up, Jon Brower Minnoch.
My name is Mr. Cheese, but your jokes are still cheesier than me...
You: I want my mama.
Me: Soz, you can't even get one.
What is the difference between me and a retard?
At least I have chromosomes.
Person 1: Omg, my blind boyfriend cheated on me.
Person 2: What did you expect? Him to see other hoes...
I don’t have another talking stage in me. 🤦🏿♂️ Do you squirt, and is your BD dead? 😭
John walked into Pat at the barn. He was dancing naked in front of a tractor. John said, "Hey, Pat, what are you doing?"
Pat said, "Well, me and the wife have been having a bit of trouble in bed, so I went to a therapist, and he said I should do something sexy to a tractor (attract her)."