ME jokes
When your wife takes 30 minutes to get ready.
Me: Takes five minutes.
Me: Hun, you done yet?
Me: Hey, apple.
Apple: What?
Me: Knife.
Apple: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
A woman walked up to me and asked me for a joke. I stood there with a straight face knowing women can't be funny.
A man gave me 1 dollar that was ripped and laughed away. I wonder why he did that.
He did that on purpose to trick me, then I met him in the threes.
If you buy two condoms, but you're banging a woman, it's fine, don't throw it away, just make her transgender.
I dunno man, worked for me.
When someone says don't talk back to me, say, "I wasn't aware that answering a question was considered talking back."
"Does this make any cents?" a man says.
"Oh, it does make cents," me. <-- thing: Lemin"aid" <-- another joke.
What's long, hard, and full of semen?
Answer: Me.
What's the difference between me and you?
Nothing, the fudge you expected ni-
My newly wed wife is a porn star. She would probably kill me if she found out.
The highest praise my wife gave to me was when she told me, "The best feminine attribute on your body as a woman would be your p🍆nis." 🥰
My roasts aren't funny. At least this shit gets me money.
Guys talk to me is what the emo loner said, but seriously, talk to me.
poop i eat it for dinner i eat it at night yet it never comes out of me? how is that possibul?
pOOp
Me sais yes to mom when she seis wha is 1 plus 1 and me is says NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! looooooooooooooooooolllolololololol
Let's chat here, sisters!
Kariah, blue heart!
Lariah, pink heart!
Iariah, yellow heart!
Me, green heart!
You may not like me, but you still look up to me.
I may not be the brightest candle on the cake, but you can still blow me.
My mom left me at a very young age.
Hey Gwen, uhhhhhhh, fresfry told me to tell you I like you. Jk, I don't.