ME jokes
I did a walk today, but it was good for me and my car. And a walk today.
Me: Hi Kallen.
Kallen: Hi.
Me: You're too big to fit in my car.
My wife and I have been married over 30 years, but don’t get me wrong, we still perform tricks in the bedroom.
I sit up and beg, she rolls over and plays dead.
HEY D.K. date ME, not that weirdo Freshfry! I LOOOOOOOOOVVVVVVVVEEEEEE UUUUUUUUUUU D.K. Let's DATE! I'm 13 ;)
What is the difference between you and me? I have parents and yours left...
Me during quarantine
EVERYONE:
"My boyfriend, Danny, broke up with me. Can some hot guy come, so I can interview them and see if they wanna date me?"
Huh what you say?
Come fight me, suck a dick.
Me: You know your parents were very good people.
Orphan: Wow, I didn’t know that.
Me: I know, you're an orphan.
My bestie: Are you dirty-minded?
Me: Do I have dirt in my mind? No.
It’s funny my sister wanted to have sex with me.
When your wife takes 30 minutes to get ready.
Me: Takes five minutes.
Me: Hun, you done yet?
Knock, knock. Who's there? Fuck. Fuck who? What, are you kidding me? I just wanted to tell you a joke!
I may not be the brightest candle on the cake, but you can still blow me.
My mom left me at a very young age.
You may not like me, but you still look up to me.
*Son comes out as gay*
Me: What's 17 more years?
I need a lovely lady to spoil. I have a big dick and a very clean house. Add me now.
Snapchat: @colin_green21
I need a lovely lady to spoil. I have big dick. Add me.
Snapchat- any.bry05
Me: I broke me bum.
Dad: Oh, that is bad. I will get some Pooh in the toilet so I can heal your bum.
Me, (DYM 131)