ME jokes
My wife walked in on me cheating on her and said, "How could you cheat on me?!" I said, "She was lying naked on the table what I was supposed to do?" and my wife responded with, "Perform the autopsy."
Sometimes I look at my butt for a really, really long time, and suddenly it all becomes clear to me.
What do a pregnant 14-year-old and the fetus inside of her have in common?
They both are thinking, "Shit! Mom is gonna kill me!"
Me and freshfry talking.
My wife told me to pass her some chapstick, but then I realized she hasn’t talked to me in a month, then remembering I gave her super glue.........ehh I’m done with her big ass mouth.
Imagine being an orphan. *kid beside me crying*
To RANDYYYY,
Hi Randy, this is ALYA. I don't want to fight with you. If you're an orphan and you do know about your past, you probably get sad, right? Well, these jokes just bring up the bad times for me.
-ALYA with love
Me: Spell "I cup."
My Friend: I see you pee.
Me: BOII YOU BETTER GIVE MEH SOME PRIVACY IN MY BATH ROOM!!!!
My Friend: Oh hehe O-O
My mom wanted me to brush my hair.
And I just told her that even pet animals don't like their hair brushed...
What’s up with the foot feet?
What is the plural of "goose"? "Geese."
What is the plural of moose? Well, it ant meese.
Well, it’s my first joke. Please forgive me if it’s bad.
Hello, I am Alan Shawn Feinstein. I would like to know who the owner of this website "worstjokesever.com" is.
I am interested in buying this website. Please respond to me in the comments or email me. Thank you, and keep doing good things.
Dear Kenya, love of life,
Thanks for commenting on my jokes, and thanks for being a nice person to me! Love, Jaden. You can tell by the emojis 🥰😍❤️💞!
Love you a million times more!
I told my therapist you are too fat and ugly to date grown men. Then she asked me, "You wanna give a judgemental reaction about that?" I said, "Okay, you smell rat pee on somebody's cock."
Why didn't the pirate write a letter to his mom?
Are you kidding me?!?
Me: *in a family meeting*
Mom: Ok guys...
Me in my mind: BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA
I was walking to the park and a mystery killer came and shot me.
My friend and I were playing Poker... And my friend also beat me with Jackass.
Teacher: Everyone, tomorrow is bring your mom to school day.
Me: Sorry but my mom's not gonna make it.
Teacher: Why?
Me: I'm an orphan, bitch.
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Bagel."
"Bagel who?"
"Toast, it's me, your arch-nemesis, Bagel, here to make up! Bye!"
My teacher: Oliver will be transitioning.
Me: tRaNsItIoNiNg!!!!
My teacher: He will be transitioning from primary school to secondary school.
Me: I thought you meant another transitioning...