ME jokes
Irritable Bowel Syndrome saved me from depression...
It’s hard to feel empty when you’re so full of shiii fuck ur mom.
Friend: Your t-shirt is cringe.
Me: You should go get the Covid test because one of their symptoms is no taste.
"Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven? You're adopted. Haley says she likes me more than you."
Like if you like dogs. Dislike if you like cats. Other animal? Tell me in the comments!
What did the calculator say to the student?
You can always count on me.
What do you say when a cat says "me moaw"?
The cat says "me toooo!"
My friend who is in a wheelchair told me a joke, and I burst out laughing. I told him he should be a stand-up comedian.
Your hairline is lookin' so crusty like KFC chicken and be so discombobulated that it looks like satellite signals. It gives me flippin' sun radiation.
People tell me to be nice to orphans, so I say, "What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?"
What is an orphan’s favorite game? Adopt me.
Guy: Fight me on Xbox. Guy: Oh right, you don't have one *laughs*
Me: Fight me in real life. Me: Oh right, you don't have a real life. *INSERTS APPLE BOTTOM JEANS*
2021-2022
Friend: Slavery isn't good.
Other friend: Yeah, it's terrible.
Me: Shut up and get me a juice!
Bully: My d*ck is longer than your password.
Me: Sorry mate, it's so short, get a longer one! 🤣
What is black and white and red all over?
Answer: A newspaper.
That is what my 3-year-old told me.
What's the difference between me and cancer?
My dad did not beat cancer.
"What did the orphan say to the other orphan? \"You have a dad? Say he can have me, I will (let) you, so he can adopt me.\""
When younger girls say, "I want my period, or it will not be bad."
*eating chocolate in bed crying* My face at them when they say that. 🤣🙄😵
Them: "I got my period." *them hurting*. Me: "Told ya."
Roses are red, lemons are sour, open your legs and give me an hour.
10 years ago my dad went to get milk. He said when he got back, he was going to tell me a joke. That joke better be worth it!
A blind man walked into me at a store. I said, "Watch it, bitch!" and he said, "Sorry, I didn't see you there."