ME jokes

You're the sun in my life, now get 93 million miles away from me.

9/11 jokes just don't hit right with me.

9/11 jokes just don't fly around me.

Hello, everybody, it's me, Mariplier, and today I'm going to be balling at Freddy's!

My kids found me in the family tree. I was hanging there for hours.

9/11 isn't something we should joke about. Some people can remember where they were when they found out. I'll never forget where I was when I found out.

It was 9:37, September 10th, 2001. I was in a cave in Iraq when my friend Mohammad told me.

My mom tells me to stop with the suicide jokes, and I replied with, "It's not that deep."

My dad told me to stop with the suicide jokes, so I said I’ll cut it out.

So Fred accidentally cut off John's ear with his spade.

John and Fred were digging a ditch when Fred made a careless swipe with his spade and cut off John's ear.

"Help me find it in all this mud," said John. "If we find it, they can sew it back on."

After a couple of minutes, Fred triumphantly shouted, "Here it is," handing the ear to John.

"That's not it," said John, throwing the ear back into the muddy ditch. "Mine had a pencil behind it!"

My last relationship ended because my ex-girlfriend accused me of being a rapist. I'm not upset. To be honest, I didn't like her anyway. She kept telling me I never listen, or something like that.

You know some of these jokes took me 9 minutes and 11 seconds to realize. When I did, it hit me like a plane.

How are Xbox servers like hookers? First they take my money, and then they go down on me.

Me calling the orphan kid from school: "Hello, are your parents home?"

The orphan kid: *starts sobbing* "STOP CALLING HERE!"

What do you call an orphan's family reunion?

Me time.

How do you paint a wall red? Throw a baby at it!

This is the account of music provider just let you I post for the enjoyment of myself, and to spread different kinds and types of music willingly. I do not respond for the soul reason of ✨people✨ and do not take offense to anything that I post. If you have and issues or just wanna talk contact me i'm only discord so that's all you getting (not being rude) ill put my discord in the comments.

Figure: Who wants to play hide and seek?

Seek and Hide: Me.

Figure: Ok, Seek, you're it. Me and Hide will hide.

Seek: Why do I have to be the seeker?

Figure: Because your name is in seeker.

I was in cooking class and my teacher said, "Does anyone know what a chopping board is similar to?"

Me and my friend just glanced at each other and burst out laughing.

Long story short, the teacher understood the joke, and now we are both in daily therapy. 😭💀

"Give it to me! Give it to me!" she yelled. "I'm so wet, give it to me now!" She could scream all she wanted, but I was keeping the umbrella.

A donut is not empty inside, that was a hole in the middle. If I'm a donut, the hole used to be where I put my feeling and happiness, but people snatch it away from me.

Anyway, can someone put a hole in my physical body too? I kinda wanted to see people cry for me just like how people cry for Ace from One Piece.