ME jokes

This disabled girl started rolling after me, so I ran to the stairs.

Guy, it was so weird yesterday. I saw a guy, and he kept repeating the same thing over and over. I hate people with dementia. I told my mom to get a new mirror, but she won’t listen to me. It’s almost like I said it like 20 times every time I say it.

A man came up to me and threatened me with his milk, cheese, and butter... how dairy!

Someone: "I got chickens out there vibin'."

Me: "What? Oh, you mean those over-sized chickens that just show an example of you in real life?"

Someone: . . .

Me before: Why do bandanas exist? They're ugly.

Me after seeing your hairline: Oh, I seeee.

Me giving pro tip: Get a bandana LMAO.

Ariana Grande agrees with me on something: women belong in the kitchen and bedroom.

I'm throwing an orgy for people on antidepressants.

Let me know if you can't cum.

I walked past an orphanage, the orphans started to call me names, and I said, "At least I have a family!"

I say these jokes are life saving material. Who's with me?

Wanna hear a joke? Me.

I don’t have another talking stage in me. 🤦🏿‍♂️ Do you squirt, and is your BD dead? 😭

I gave an emo kid money.

He gave me the great depression.

I gave a tree a high five, but sadly it left me hanging.

Your mom is so fat that when she saw Moby Dick, she said, "We are family... even though you're bigger than me."

I was at work and then a little kid came up to me and she said, "What happened to all the parents?" She sounded so confused, so I told her, "It's only yours, kid, they left you on purpose." She cried. I felt bad for a second and thought, oh well, time to get back to my job at the orphanage.

Thank you so much for helping me get to 20 followers! I'm so happy, every time I look at my followers going up, it makes me so happy. I can't wait to keep posting other things on here! <3

I'm going to start taking confetti with me to therapy so when my therapist asks me, "How are you?" I can say "sad" and toss the confetti everywhere. It'll be like a real-life iMessage!

For me, the best part of depression is remaining charming around strangers but saving the misery for the ones who love you.

Me: I have depression.

Someone: You should get out more! Go outside!

Me: *goes to the beach* Now it's a tropical depression.

Me: "WYD?"

Her: "Just dealing with a lot: depression, anxiety, and the feeling that I'll never be enough."

Me: "Without me? Lol"