New Material Jokes - Page 6 - Worst Jokes Ever

A man walks into a bar with a piece of asphalt under his arm. The bartender asks what he wants. The man says, "I would like one beer for me and one for the road."

Mortar is like a woman's fanny; the more you play with it, the wetter it gets.

My tutor just said this quote of 2k18^^^

Pontypool is rough.

So, there are these 3 strings, they walk into a bar. People are giving them looks. The small chap is your typical thin cord. He walks to the barman and asks for a rum and coke. He replies, "Oii, your kind ain't welcomed here, so take your drink, mates, and fuck off."

He goes back to his mates and says, "We'd better get outta here." "Nonsense," replies the mid guy, he's your typical string. Goes to the barman and same story. Finally the last guy, he's your typical rope. He burst out, "Fuck this!" He twits and ties himself whilst messing up his hair. He struts up to the barman and asks for a rum and coke. The barman does so and whilst he prepares the drink, he opens with, "Say, aren't you a string?" "No, I'm a frayed knot."

Glue is sticky.

hahahahahhhahaha

Sand under docks is very resilient. It doesn’t give in to pier pressure.

A cardboard belt is a waste of paper.

These jokes cheered me up from suicide. This is amazing material. God bless all of you.

Have you heard about the corduroy pillow cases? They've been making headlines.

Yo mama so old the carpenter uses her crotch as sandpaper.

What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto! 😂

I bought a wooden whistle. But it wouldn't whistle, so I bought a steel whistle. But it still wouldn't whistle. So I bought a lead whistle, but it still wouldn't lead me to whistle.