Material jokes
What's the difference between cotton and an orphan?
One gets picked.
What goes inside and comes out wet?
What is brown and sticky? A stick!
What's blue and bad for your teeth?
A green brick that's painted blue after the original paint dries (it takes a little while to dry), but after it dries you can paint it and then it will be green. If the brick is green it is called a green brick as it is green (not blue anymore) and it hurts your teeth because brick is a hard material that can damage the bones in your mouth (also known as your teeth).
I say these jokes are life saving material. Who's with me?
Wanna touch my shirt? It's made of boyfriend/girlfriend/partner material.
A man walks into a doctor's office, naked and wrapped in Glad Wrap.
The doctor replies with: "I can clearly see your nuts."
Gay dik.
Smol Dik.
Plastik Dik.
Rubeh Dik.
Smooth Dik.
Metahl Dik.
What's tree plus tree?
Sticks!
Why was the kinetic sand always happy?
Because it was kinetic with its friends!
What did the train made of glue make?
GLUE GLUUUUUUUUUUUE!
1: Hey.
2: What?
1: We're outta paint.
2: *HMM*
(And that's how stop signs have extra paint.)
"Do you know the difference between wallpaper and toilet paper?" Replies, "No." "Gross!"
What happens if you put your hand in glue? Your hand will stay there forever! I'm joking, hahaha!
Hey guys. I just wanted to say, while I think some rape jokes can be funny, not one of these are. In fact, I find them pretty horrifying.
I was raped when I was fourteen (about six years ago), and I have made one rape joke in my entire life when, last year, I said "I don't fuck with rapists, I just get fucked by them." I thought it was funny. No one else did, and they were probably right in that.
My point is this: rape jokes CAN be funny when they are used by victims as a way of coping with trauma. They CANNOT be funny when they are made about raping someone else. Even if there is a difference between joking about raping someone and raping someone, it is absolutely disgusting to think such a horrific crime is funny, and I am sure at least some of the posters on this page have already crossed the line into committing rape.
Great material for social scientific research, though, gentlemen. Really well done.
What's harder than titanium? Michael Jackson at the playground.
What's the difference between a piano, a pot of glue, and a tuna fish?
You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna.
What about the glue?
I knew you'd get stuck there.
What is more used than plastic?
Hookers.
What's brown and sticky?
A stick. Get your head out of the gutters... Jeez!
What is sticky, but it cannot stick a stick?