Material jokes

My friend has a shovel made of gold. I guess you could call him a gold digger.

Son: Mom, can I borrow $50?

Mom: What? NO WAY! Do you think money grows on trees?

Son: Mom, what is money made of?

Mom: Paper.

Son: Where does paper come from?

Mom: . . .

What do you call a Mexican under a carpet? Underlay, underlay.

Wanna hear a paper joke? You know what, probably not because it’s TEAR-able! :/

Rocks are used too much; people take 'em for granite.

I was going to log a pun about trees, but you wooden understand it.

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

What's brown and sticky? A stick with poop on it.

Or a stick with poo on it.

What's red and really bad for your teeth? A brick.

What do you call a bad piece of wood? Knotty.

I bought a wooden whistle. I tried so hard, but it wouldn't whistle.

So I bought a steel one. It still wouldn't let me whistle. Then I got a lead one. It still wouldn't lead me whistle. Then I realised, they were flutes, so the wood would lead me whistle if I did it correctly. Steel....

Want to hear a paper joke?

Never mind, it’s too terrible.

Let’s stick together!

Like if you know what ashes are.

Have you heard the joke about the paper?

Never mind, it's tear-able.

I hate rubber.

I once asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite... He said, "NaBrO."

Do you want to hear a paper joke?

Never mind, it's tear-able!

Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper!

What can a rock possibly say?

Answer: I'll fuck ya mum rock hard.