Material jokes

Son: Mom, can I borrow $50?

Mom: What? NO WAY! Do you think money grows on trees?

Son: Mom, what is money made of?

Mom: Paper.

Son: Where does paper come from?

Mom: . . .

What do you call a Mexican under a carpet? Underlay, underlay.

Wanna hear a paper joke? You know what, probably not because it’s TEAR-able! :/

Rocks are used too much; people take 'em for granite.

I was going to log a pun about trees, but you wooden understand it.

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

What's brown and sticky? A stick with poop on it.

Or a stick with poo on it.

What's red and really bad for your teeth? A brick.

What do you call a bad piece of wood? Knotty.

I bought a wooden whistle. I tried so hard, but it wouldn't whistle.

So I bought a steel one. It still wouldn't let me whistle. Then I got a lead one. It still wouldn't lead me whistle. Then I realised, they were flutes, so the wood would lead me whistle if I did it correctly. Steel....

Want to hear a paper joke?

Never mind, it’s too terrible.

Let’s stick together!

Like if you know what ashes are.

Have you heard the joke about the paper?

Never mind, it's tear-able.

I hate rubber.

I once asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite... He said, "NaBrO."

Do you want to hear a paper joke?

Never mind, it's tear-able!

Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper! Paper!

What can a rock possibly say?

Answer: I'll fuck ya mum rock hard.

A man finds his son climbing the roof of his house. The kid kept using all sorts of material to climb up, but the dad didn't pay much attention.

Next day the kid went to the state tower and kept climbing using some adhesive gloves. The dad asks his son for a second time: "Son! Why are you doing this?" The son replies: "You told me to aim up high!"