Material jokes
What's sticky and brown? A stick!
Paper.
Why is a brick always hard? Because the Indians played with it enough.
Why is a brick always hard? Because he seen the brick that was getting laid right next to him.
Be careful around fire, plastic melts.
What's a pirate's favorite letter?
(People will then say "r")
Arrr, you think it be "r" but really it's the "C" that they love.
What's a pirate's least favorite letter?
Dear sir,
You are being investigated for downloading illegal copyrighted material, and your internet will be cut off.
What’s harder than steel?
Michael Jackson in a playground.
What’s long, brown, and sticky? A stick!
Why did the wither skeleton fail his test?
Because his answers were netherrite.
I had something about tripping over ice.
Well, it slipped my mind, so I'll just test some diamonds to see if they're ice.
What is black when it’s clean and white when it’s dirty?
Answer: A chalkboard.
What are the similarities between a broken tire and me?
We were both caused by broken rubber.
Be papered.
What do you call a shoe made out of a banana?
A slipper.
Want to hear a joke about paper?
Never mind, it's tearable.
Why does new pavement smell like butt?
In other words you can also call it asphalt.
Ass-phalt.
What is white and sticky?
Glue.
What kind of paper gets stuck to your foot?
DUH! A sticker.
what kind of shoes are made of banana peels? slippers.
My friend has a shovel made of gold. I guess you could call him a gold digger.