Many jokes
It's funny how teachers are supposed to educate new lives, but only teach certain kids how much they want to commit suicide and how many ways there are.
It's funny how you feel so alone with depression, and yet once you tell people on some random website, so many people relate. Unfortunately, it doesn't stop the loneliness.
Person 1: How many people has Michael Jackson fingered?
Person 2: Dunno, what’s the minor population?
Anyone wanna chat? I'm new and don't know many people.
Girlfriend: "One day I will marry and a lot of men will be sad that day."
Boyfriend: "Wow, how many men do you plan to marry?"
Somebody asks me: How many YT subs you got?
Me: More than you!
I get so many things stuck in my head, though, unfortunately none of them were a bullet.
How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. They just hold it in the socket and expect the world to revolve around them.
Get a calculator.
Okay, anyways, Sally has 69 bottles of boobs (because she is a cannibal that collects boobs) and her friend said it was 222 many. She got caught by the police and was taken to 51st Street. She got arrested for x8 days, so she was BOOBLESS.
"{[(Log date) 11 22 3] The Beginning} "This marks the first ever log of the Underground Fruit Association of n&c (ugfa). N, being code name for Nathaniel, and C, being code name for Connor. Our plan is to collect as many fruit cups as possible by the end of the year. This site will be a communication hub only and used for nothing else. We will plan and discuss courses of action, and collection." End of log"
How many skinny people can fit in a tub? I don't know; they keep slipping down the drain.
How many midgets does it take to change a lightbulb?
Three, because it’s the normal person's height.
How many beans are there in Irish chili?
Answer: 239
Why are there two hundred and thirty-nine?
Answer: (spoken in Irish Brogues) Because if you add one more, it'd be "two farty."
What happened to the cheetah that took too many baths?
The cheetah became spotless!
Why can't you do a Math test in the zoo?
Because there are too many Cheetahs!
So many things are going through my head.
How am I not dead yet?
How many Senators fans does it take to change a light bulb?
All 3 of them.
Hockey for life!
Why are fat people fat? Because they eat like Indians eating curry, except fat people eat many more portions.
Me: How many letters are in the alphabet?
That one friend: 11 - T-H-E-- A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T.
Three guys are standing in an alley on an alien planet, and the psycho one says, "However many tits your girl has is how many balls you have!"
The first guy says, "Ha! My girlfriend has six! I'm racked up!" The second guy said, "Eh, I am happy with two balls." The third guy said, "Shit! My girlfriend is flat as fuck!"
A guy listening in enters and says, "Bro, you actually have girlfriends. I do not. Does that mean I have a pussy?"