They say during sex you burn off as many calories as running 8 miles. Who the fuck runs 8 miles in 30 seconds?
A woman prayed to be a mother everyday for many years until she crossed a road without looking and got hit by a woman driver and died.
When she met God, she asked Him, "How come you didn't answer my prayers?"
God replied, "I did. I kept sending men to rape you, but you kept on choosing to destroy my creations by having an abortion."
Butcher knives are great tools for cutting many things!
Fruit, vegetables, my arms.
On a winter day many play.
Some with snow, and I with ice Used as a device to slice Somehow I'm colder now.
Anyone want a free pizza? Because you liking a pizza with toppings that not many people enjoy allows you to eat the entire guilt free pizza, that they said they didn't want and everyone already offered you a slice of.
when is rape wrong on so many levels?
inside a lift.
Why can’t monkeys play in the jungle? Because there are too many cheetahs!
A boy couldn't walk normally because his pants were huge, and when he went to school, the people there made so many jokes about him that he died.
IT'S NOT TRUE, JUST A FAKE JOKE, DON'T WORRY!
How many skinheads does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
10; 1 to do it and 9 to back him up.
How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb in the middle of the night?
I don't know, I can never see them.
Little Johnny got detention because when he was walking to lunch, he saw a bowl of apples and there was a note on it that said, "Take 1, God is watching." He continued walking and saw a bowl of cookies that said, "Take 1, please." So little Johnny made his own note and he wrote, "Take as many cookies as you want, God is watching the apples."
Why did the NBA remove the glory hole from the men's locker room?
Too many black basketball players sucking too many white cocks before the game.
Little Johnny and his teacher were telling each other jokes and riddles. His teacher asked, "Three birds were sitting on a wire, a hunter shot one. How many are left?" Little Johnny replied, "None, because the sound would scare the other two away." His teacher said, "No, but I like the way you think!"
Little Johnny replied, "Alright, now I have one for you. What goes in dry and hard and comes out soft and hard?" His teacher was shocked and said, "Little Johnny!" He replied, "It's gum! But I like the way you think!"
How many orphans does it take to change a light bulb? Obviously more than three because my basement is still dark.
Teacher: What's 3 minus 1? Me: I don't know. Teacher: How about this, you have three cakes, I take one. How many cakes do you have? Me: Three. Teacher: If I take one cake from your three, what do you have? Me: Three cakes and a dead teacher.
Science teacher: How many times can the earth fit into the sun?
Me: As many times as the earth can fit into you.
I jump and jump if you put bread in me too many times. What am I? A toaster.
How many children can you fit in a box?
Maybe five if you have a trash compactor.
When I see lovers' names carved on a tree, I don't think it's sweet. I just think it's surprising how many people bring a knife on a date.
Why are so many Americans stupid? Because they shoot the ones that go to school.
