A man walked into a bar with a ak-47 with 50 round mag and yelled out who the fuck fucked my wife, everyone was quiet. one man at the back stood up and called, sorry mate but i dont think you have enough bullets.
A man walks into a bar and see's a naked lady "WOOW SHES HOT." HE picks her up and pee;s on her and says Hi lady lets have sex.
A man goes for a pee in a haunted house. He unzips his pants at the urinal when a man dressed as a goblin chuckles next to him. "you got a small dick buddy" the man says to him.
Man 1: Hey I heard you survived a school shooting, what was it like? Man 2: People were screaming and running everywhere, I was only able to get a few of them.
A chef named his chicken Richard and named a rooster Ballz. A guy walks up and asks the chef what he's cooking he replies "my dick and balls"
Your mama is so fat, One Punch Man had to punch twice.
What do you call a gay man that is not physically handicapped that performs blowjobs on gay men that are physically handicapped?
Caregiver.
In response to a buddy saying they joined a golf club:
“Jfc ****, you’ve gone softer than your old man’s dick after your mom suggests a romantic night in! I swear to god you’re so fucking bougie.” (Pause) “Oh I forgot to tell you, while you were gone I got a weird call for you... Some Jeff guy? Said something about a loan...” “Jeff who?” “Bezos.”
What do you call physically handicapped, homophobic, heterosexual men and women in wheelchairs?
Mixed nuts.
Why do you call a man that is physically handicapped and German?
A physically handicapped bisexual man that is promiscuous and German.
So I went to Comic-Con and saw a man with a arm missing and I thought cool display until I heard him screaming and getting the other chopped off then I said “ man now that’s a 10/10 display wow
A young 38 year old happy Muslim migrant living in Sydney wants to wed a beautiful young bride. He asks the local Aussie the minimum age to wed his yet unchosen bride. "Eighteen" the Aussie says, sipping a beer. "She has to be Eighteen". Okay the Muslim man sighed, with disappointment and walks off. Next day he arrives with a 13 year old girl. "Wtf are you doing" Aussie says? You say this is okay" Muslim replied. "Fuck no she must be at least Eighteen you sick bastard" says Aussie, flicking away his Winnie Blue cigarette. Muslim man leaves angrily. Next day Happy Muslim settles on a 14 year old girl from Punchbowl to be his bride. Aussies jaw drops, "what is wrong with you mate?" asks Aussie. Muslim man replies "You tell me to choose 'a teen', 'a teen', I chose a teen and now you come for my third and now fourth choice. Fuck you!" Aussie: "Eighteen not 'a teen' you sick mongrel.
I orphan walked up to the lemonade stand and he said to the man running the stand hey bum bum bum got a family
why do orphans like spider man 100% of them are like him
Little Johnny was in kindergarten and his teacher said, "okay everyone, Tomorrow you must come to school and recite the first three letters of the alphabet". Johnny didn't know the alphabet so he decided to ask his family. He walked in the kitchen to find his mom on the phone. He says, "Mamma, what's the first letter of the alphabet?" His mom doesn't notice him standing there and says, "If you don't shut the fuck up right now-" So he goes to find his brother watching TV and he says, "Tommy what's the Second letter of the alphabet?" His brother doesn't notice him and says, "I'm Batman". So He went to his Grandma who was knitting and says, "Grandma what's the third letter of the Alphabet?" The grandma then realizes she left her biscuits in the oven for too long and says, "My biscuits are burning! My Biscuits are burning!" Satisfied with the answers given to him he thinks it over and goes to school the next morning. When his teacher come to Johnny she says, "Johnny what are the first three letters of the alphabet?" "If you don't shut the fuck up right now" - Johnny "Who do you think you are young man to talk to someone like me that way?" - teacher "I'm Batman" - Johnny The teacher whups his ass and little johnny says, "My biscuits are burning! My Biscuits are burning!"
Later that day he understands what happened and can't tell which was worse that he accidentally cussed to his teacher or that his family was ignoring him.
What do hostess twinkies and the cock of a gay man have in common 🐓 🐓 🐓 🐓 🐓 🐓 🍦 🍦 🍦 🍦🍦 🍦 🍨 🍨 🍨 🍨
What do you call a gay man that is not a vegetarian a cocksucker 🐓 🐓 🐓 🐓 🐓 🐓 👨 👨 👩 👩 👨 👨 👨 👩 👨 👨 👨 👨
Why did a minister who is a Christian nationalist and a bisexual man give anonymous blowjobs to physically handicapped gay men under the handicapped stalls inside the men's restrooms at a rest area?
He wanted to eat footlong hotdogs for lunch at the rest area, but he wanted a sample first (taster).
😳 😳 😳 what can a physically handicapped ♿ 👬 👨 👨 gay man can do better than a physically handicapped ♿ bisexual man 👨 👩 👨 🤔 when his 👄 mouth is wide open 😍 when his head is sticking out under the stall inside the men's 🚹 restroom 🚻 at a rest 😴 area 😴 suck the chrome of a tall pipe 👄
🤔 what do 👬 👨 👨 gay men who are physically handicapped ♿ can do better than a 👨 👩 👨 man who is heteroflexable when 🤔 he has another 👨 man's 😍 😋 😜 😏 😳 😉 cock inside 😋 of his warm mouth 👄 👄 give a 👍 👍 good blowjob
