What did God say when he made the first black man?
"Crap, I burnt one!"
Man Jokes
Why is it that skinny men love fat women?
Because we need warmth in the winter and shade in the summer.
A man goes to the doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world.
Doctor says: "Treatment is simple. The great clown - Pagliacci - is in town. Go see him. That should pick you up."
Man bursts into tears, says "But doctor... I am Pagliacci."
"I got that dawg in me," said the Asian men after lunch.
The gayest person on Earth is Pac-Man.
You can pay him 50 cents to eat 200 balls.
The man who invented Velcro died.
RIP.
A man walks into a bar "Why am I so bad at Limbo?"
A man and woman were having sex. After they were done, the man asks the woman, "Are you a nurse?" The woman answers, "Yes. How did you know?" The man replies, "Because you took care of me so well." Then the woman asks the man, "Are you an anesthesiologist?" He says proudly, "Yes. How do you know?" The woman answers, "Because I didn't feel a thing."
A guy is sitting at a bar when a drunk man walks up to him, calling his mom a whore. The guy just ignores it and stays in his spot drinking his beer. An hour goes by and the drunk man comes back saying, "Your mom is a whore!" The guy sitting looks around the bar, sees people staring and says, "Don't worry, everything is cool here," and shrugs it off. After a few more shots, the drunk man walks up a third time and says, "Your mom... is such... a whore!" The guy finally gets mad, throws his fist on the table and says, "You know what? Go home Dad!"
God creates dog.
God: "You are man's best friend."
Dog: "That's pretty sexist."
God: "No, man as in- You know what, FUCK IT! You can't speak!"
Dog: "....."
God: "And chocolate kills you!"
Dog: "đ¶"
Nasruddin Hodja was tilling his patch of land when a hunter came riding up.
âHey, you!" said the man. âDid you see a boar run past?"
âYes," replied Hodja.
âWhich way did it go?" demanded the man.
Hodja pointed in the direction in which the boar had gone.
The man rode away without a word of thanks, but he was back within minutes.
âNo sign of it!" he said. âAre you sure it went that way?"
âI am certain," replied Hodja. âIt went that way. Two years ago."
Chuck Norris doesn't breathe. He holds air hostage.
A blind man walks into a woman's bar and asks the person next to him if she would like to hear a blonde joke. The woman says, "Before you tell your joke, you should know the bartender is blonde and has a shotgun, the bouncer is blonde and has a baseball bat, the two playing music are blonde and have pistols. Do you still want to tell that joke, cowboy?" He thought for a second and said, "Not if I have to explain it five times."
Why do gay men hate periods?
They prefer Collins.
Do not be racist; be like Mario. He's an Italian plumber, who was made by the Japanese, speaks English, looks like a Mexican, jumps like a black man, and grabs coins like a Jew!
Zack Stargaze has a small willy, lol.
What's one thing your dad shares with black men? Your sister.
Boys are like minis.
Girls are like big pots.
Minis always come first. Don't think about sex boys, be men.
Why did God create women before men?
He didnât want any advice on how to do it.
What do you call a group of black men hanging from a tree?
Alabama wind chimes.