Man

Man jokes

My girlfriend told me women are better at multitasking than men. So I told her to sit down and shut up. Guess what...

She couldn't do either!

What is a victimless crime in the state of Michigan if you are an able-bodied man who is well-endowed, not white, and not a heterosexual male?

A white male who is heterosexual and physically disabled who is sodomized by an able-bodied and well-endowed gay male who is not white inside the men's locker room at the gym.

I asked a black man on the street if a white person paints their face black, it’s considered racist, but if a black person paints their face white, will the cops treat them better?

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    • What's the difference between Batman and a Black man???

    Batman can go out at night without Robin.

    A woman can fake an orgasm for the sake of a relationship.

    A man can fake a relationship for the sake of an orgasm.

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    • A man accidentally elbows a woman's boob as she is standing behind him in a hotel lobby. The man apologizes profusely and says, "If your heart is as soft as your breasts, I know you'll forgive me."

    To which the woman replied, "If your dick is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 318."

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    • The first thing a man looks at in a woman, is her heart.

    The fact that her breasts block the view is not her fault.

    Two men are sitting at a coffee table.

    Mike: "I think I might have a drinking problem."

    Joe: "Why do you say that?"

    Mike: "Well, last week I got so drunk I blew chunks."

    Joe: "That's nothing to be ashamed of; we all drink a little too much sometimes."

    Mike: "No, you don't understand. Chunks is my dog's name."

    A man walks into a bar.

    Then he walks into a Pole.

    Then the Pole says, "I surrender, Heil Hitler!"

    There once was a man named Dave who dug up a prostitutes grave, she was as moldy as shit and missing a tit, but think of all the money he saved

    An old man goes to a church and is making a confession:

    Man: "Father, I am 75 years old. I have been married for 50 years. All these years I had been faithful to my wife, but yesterday I was intimate with an 18-year-old."

    Father: "When was the last time you made a confession?"

    Man: "I never have, I am Jewish."

    Father: "Then why are telling me all this?"

    Man: "I’m telling everybody!"