Mammal jokes
What is a dog?
An animal.
Why didn't the bear leave home?
He could not bear leaving his family.
Why are elephants 🐘 so responsible?
Because they keep their belongings in the trunk.
What did one male whale say to the other male whale?
"She's gonna blow!"
What is the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus?
One is hairy and smells like fish, and the other is a walrus. You're welcome.
What do you call the bear that pushes all the other bears into the pool?
The dry bear.
Why did the bat cross the road? Because to get to the blood bar.
What did the female dog say to the mirror?
Hi, bitch!
What did the bull tell his son before it went for college?
Bye-son.
Two rabbits were racing. Neither could get ahead, so they ended in a hare-tie!
Did you hear about the elephant with no nose?! Me neither.
What do you call a bunch of llamas?
Alpaca llama.
Knock knock? Who's there? Kanga. Kanga who? Not kangawho, kangaroo!
What do you call an animal that smells?
A smelly-phant.
That joke is really not funny.
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house?
Of course, houses can't jump.
What do you call a wild party in a bamboo forest?
Panda-monium!
Why do giraffes have such long necks?
Because their feet smell!
What animal lies? A lion.
I would never kill an animal. I'm more of a people person.
Two female mice met and one spoke:
"Yesterday I met a mouse. He was black, and he had wings, and he had some cool, sharp teeth. He said he only ate at night."
Other mouse: "Umm... that's a bat."
"That asshole! He told me that he is a pilot!"