Make jokes
What’s red, 11 inches, and makes my girlfriend cry when I slap her with it?
Her miscarriage.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
His parents were on the other side!
Why does Samsung sell TVs? 'Cause they make them! 😂🤣
Every time I come straight home from work, you're in the bed asleep and back there dead like a vampire in a casket.
Then the next thing I noticed, you just came back from the dead in no time, dummy.
Can I make you a basketball cake for dessert?
Yeah, you sure can, but don't be having all your balls in it. It will taste nasty.
Memes
How do you make a Tico dance? You put a little boogie in it.
I put my heart and soul in my report, then my teacher says:
"Hey KIDS were going to repeat making current events about our state til we DIE."
....No wonder when kids leave school they're soulless.
RIP Meh Soul.
What kind of pillow makes sounds?
I'd make a farming joke, but I'm just a little less than corny enough.
Quit making jokes about me.
Why is Santa make-believe?
Because he is fake!
Two men are next to each other. One looks at the other and asks, "Are you a fascist?"
The other man responds, "No, why would I be?"
The first man pulls out a gun and says, "Are you sure?"
The second man says, "Never mind, I am a fascist!"
We were talking about ancient ruins last week, so I said they can ruin your day!
Why was the number 10 afraid?
Because it was with 9 and 11, and it makes 911.
Bitch, I can make orange rhyme with banana.
BORNANA
Do not ever make fun of people who look like they have no necks. They are fully protected from vampires.
Stop making these stop jokes. I'm running out of laugh gas.
Roses are red, violets are blue, Mike Pence's hair is made of glue.
Apparently, rich people have the smallest penises. It makes sense why Bill Gates called it "MicroSoft."
They call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me poor and ugly.