Make jokes
The waiter recommended the rug meal.
She said it was delicious, but it's a tassle to make.
Long time since I made a joke, huh? I used a Time Machine to make this one.
I should be ashamed of myself for making all these jokes at the expense of the disabled! After all, they can't even stand up for themselves.
The worst comedians take 9 months to make a joke. Then they spend the rest of their lives trying to forget it.
A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, “Have you heard about the mad cow disease that’s going around?”
“Yeah,” the other cow says. “Makes me glad I’m a penguin.”
How do you restrain a straight person? Give them a straight jacket.
How do you restrain a trans person? Make the trans vest tight.
What does a baby and a hand grenade have in common?
They both make noise when you throw them.
Donald Trump is making hospitals so poor that they are using kidney beans for their transplants.
My wife wanted to make a joke about domestic abuse, but I beat her to it.
As a son, I like sports, and I watch sports with my mom. So one day, we were looking at football. My mom asked me who makes the most money. I said the quarterback.
My mom told me I'm going to get a quarterback as my new boyfriend, and it'll be your new stepfather. A week later, my mom went out. I came home, and I see my mom making out with a high school kid. I said, "What's going on?" My mom said, "Look, my new boyfriend and new stepfather is the high school quarterback." My mom said, "See, mission accomplished." I said, "Yeah, job well done."
I am not making a noose; I am making an unsubscribe button for life.
Make like a drum and beat it!
Asians don't believe in Santa because they make the toys.
Why can’t an orphan make a joke?
Dad jokes.
True story: In 1986, in the midst of the HIV epidemic, they made condoms available to the public. At that time, me and my boyfriend were 13 years old. My boyfriend was so happy: "These will make great water balloons!" And I was even happier. I did not have to pack a lunch for school tomorrow, lol.
My sis told me that onions are the only food that can make you cry...
So I threw a coconut at her.
Roses are red, violets are blue, like my hole, Uncle Bill is making me full, better run here he comes!
So, one day in 3rd grade, I was making this art piece and I was talking about my friend that was a boy that I have known for 5 years. But then, the other boy at my table named Coen Jones shouted, "NO! I'M THE ONLY BOYFRIEND YOU CAN HAVE!" As soon as I heard all that, the teacher and the rest of our class was shocked while our table was just laughing their butts off, but laughed so hard, I fell out of my chair!
A boy walks in on his mother riding his father. "What are you doing?" the boy asks his mother. "I'm jumping on daddy to make him thin," said the mother. "Don't bother," said the boy, "when you go shopping, the lady next door comes and blows him up again."
My wife of 60 years told me, "Let's go upstairs and make love."
I just sighed and said, "Choose one, I can't do both."