Make

Make jokes

Miscarriage

What’s red, 11 inches, and makes my girlfriend cry when I slap her with it?

Her miscarriage.

Vampire

Every time I come straight home from work, you're in the bed asleep and back there dead like a vampire in a casket.

Then the next thing I noticed, you just came back from the dead in no time, dummy.

Basketball

Can I make you a basketball cake for dessert?

Yeah, you sure can, but don't be having all your balls in it. It will taste nasty.

Memes

School

I put my heart and soul in my report, then my teacher says:

"Hey KIDS were going to repeat making current events about our state til we DIE."

....No wonder when kids leave school they're soulless.

RIP Meh Soul.

Man

Two men are next to each other. One looks at the other and asks, "Are you a fascist?"

The other man responds, "No, why would I be?"

The first man pulls out a gun and says, "Are you sure?"

The second man says, "Never mind, I am a fascist!"

Ruin

We were talking about ancient ruins last week, so I said they can ruin your day!

Number

Why was the number 10 afraid?

Because it was with 9 and 11, and it makes 911.

Vampire

Do not ever make fun of people who look like they have no necks. They are fully protected from vampires.

Gas

Stop making these stop jokes. I'm running out of laugh gas.

Hair

Roses are red, violets are blue, Mike Pence's hair is made of glue.

Penis

Apparently, rich people have the smallest penises. It makes sense why Bill Gates called it "MicroSoft."

Money

They call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me poor and ugly.